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Experiment: gloves do not make climbing low 5s harder

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Re: Experiment: gloves do not make climbing low 5s harder

Postby Woodswalker » Mon Sep 25, 2017 11:53 am

And we are supposed to be all "boo hoo" when these reckless kooks fall off the cliff.
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Re: Experiment: gloves do not make climbing low 5s harder

Postby Simkin » Mon Sep 25, 2017 8:40 pm

Burchey wrote:No, a kook because of the hilarious circus of a person you appear to be. These videos you post and all your "bold statements" about climbing are embarrassing at best, and you seem to be so proud and sure of yourself. It's amazing.

All my statements are truisms of the sort of gorilla in the room.

It is similar to lactose intolerance. Just like a lactose intolerant person will crap if he adds a few drops of milk in his coffee a coward craps in the moment of danger. It is a predetermined reaction of the organism.

From Montaigne:
Scanderbeg, Prince of Epirus, pursuing one of his soldiers with purpose to kill him, the soldier, having in vain tried by all the ways of humility and supplication to appease him, resolved, as his last refuge, to face about and await him sword in hand: which behaviour of his gave a sudden stop to his captain’s fury, who, for seeing him assume so notable a resolution, received him into grace; an example, however, that might suffer another interpretation with such as have not read of the prodigious force and valour of that prince.

A Homo americanus is the opposite of Scanderbeg.
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Re: Experiment: gloves do not make climbing low 5s harder

Postby Yank-Tank » Mon Sep 25, 2017 8:54 pm

Simkin wrote:
Burchey wrote:No, a kook because of the hilarious circus of a person you appear to be. These videos you post and all your "bold statements" about climbing are embarrassing at best, and you seem to be so proud and sure of yourself. It's amazing.

All my statements are truisms of the sort of gorilla in the room.

It is similar to lactose intolerance. Just like a lactose intolerant person will crap if he adds a few drops of milk in his coffee a coward craps in the moment of danger. It is a predetermined reaction of the organism.

From Montaigne:
Scanderbeg, Prince of Epirus, pursuing one of his soldiers with purpose to kill him, the soldier, having in vain tried by all the ways of humility and supplication to appease him, resolved, as his last refuge, to face about and await him sword in hand: which behaviour of his gave a sudden stop to his captain’s fury, who, for seeing him assume so notable a resolution, received him into grace; an example, however, that might suffer another interpretation with such as have not read of the prodigious force and valour of that prince.

A Homo americanus is the opposite of Scanderbeg.


So tell us oh great one, master of the Cathedral peak and the crystal crag. How did you get so good and ballsy?
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Re: Experiment: gloves do not make climbing low 5s harder

Postby Burchey » Mon Sep 25, 2017 11:38 pm

Simkin wrote:
Burchey wrote:No, a kook because of the hilarious circus of a person you appear to be. These videos you post and all your "bold statements" about climbing are embarrassing at best, and you seem to be so proud and sure of yourself. It's amazing.

All my statements are truisms of the sort of gorilla in the room.

It is similar to lactose intolerance. Just like a lactose intolerant person will crap if he adds a few drops of milk in his coffee a coward craps in the moment of danger. It is a predetermined reaction of the organism.


Is it too late to get your money back from Brown? What the hell are you even going on about?

To be frank - the only thing worse than your antics on the rock, is your online troll. 2/10 at best, I'm likely rounding up.

Also, was that your first time on snow in the Unotch video? Holy moly the axe handling.
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Re: Experiment: gloves do not make climbing low 5s harder

Postby Bob Sihler » Tue Sep 26, 2017 6:04 pm

Lol, I have been waiting for Mountain Project to "discover" Simplekin. What a shitshow. Anyway, it won't matter. The guy can't even accept compliments, much less constructive criticism and outright derision. What a piece of work.
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Re: Experiment: gloves do not make climbing low 5s harder

Postby Simkin » Tue Sep 26, 2017 7:19 pm

Burchey wrote:Is it too late to get your money back from Brown?

I had a full scholarship there.

Burchey wrote:What the hell are you even going on about?

I am saying that similarly to a lactose intolerant person who responds to milk with defecation a coward responses to danger with defecation.

This one is just more honest than you:

[–]DiseasesFromMonkees 16 points 1 month ago

Yes I did defecate in my pants when scared.
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Re: Experiment: gloves do not make climbing low 5s harder

Postby Yank-Tank » Wed Sep 27, 2017 5:15 am

Simkin wrote:
Burchey wrote:Is it too late to get your money back from Brown?

I had a full scholarship there.

Burchey wrote:What the hell are you even going on about?

I am saying that similarly to a lactose intolerant person who responds to milk with defecation a coward responses to danger with defecation.

This one is just more honest than you:

[–]DiseasesFromMonkees 16 points 1 month ago

Yes I did defecate in my pants when scared.


Why are you the one calling people cowards, when it is the great hero of you who defecates him self trying to be a hero on Cathedral peak?

It still gives me nightmares just thinking about the sound that it must make dragging your pack up all that low angle terrain.

Do you ever stop to think about other people's lives that you are putting in danger when you are doing all these daring solos? Don't you want to die so nobody has to see it?.
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Re: Experiment: gloves do not make climbing low 5s harder

Postby Simkin » Wed Sep 27, 2017 5:21 pm

Yank-Tank wrote:Why are you the one calling people cowards, when it is the great hero of you who defecates him self trying to be a hero on Cathedral peak?

If you felt some smell - it couldn't have been transmitted over internet and must be of local origin.

Yank-Tank wrote:Do you ever stop to think about other people's lives that you are putting in danger when you are doing all these daring solos? Don't you want to die so nobody has to see it?.

Ecce homo: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JmlaPQOtDbQ
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Re: Experiment: gloves do not make climbing low 5s harder

Postby Burchey » Wed Sep 27, 2017 9:34 pm

Bob Sihler wrote:Lol, I have been waiting for Mountain Project to "discover" Simplekin. What a shitshow. Anyway, it won't matter. The guy can't even accept compliments, much less constructive criticism and outright derision. What a piece of work.


I believe you're correct that it doesn't matter, and really the only reason we should all care is because this "climber" affects those around him. This doesn't happen in a vacuum. To be fair, there are plenty of people behaving recklessly on any given day at these places like Cathedral, but ole Cliff-Salad-Tosser is obviously an outlier.

Again - something tells me we won't have to worry about this problem for too long, just hope he doesn't take anybody with him.
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Re: Experiment: gloves do not make climbing low 5s harder

Postby Simkin » Wed Sep 27, 2017 11:02 pm

Burchey wrote:Again - something tells me we won't have to worry about this problem for too long, just hope he doesn't take anybody with him.

That something is your evil eye.
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Re: Experiment: gloves do not make climbing low 5s harder

Postby Burchey » Thu Sep 28, 2017 12:15 am

Simkin wrote:
Burchey wrote:Again - something tells me we won't have to worry about this problem for too long, just hope he doesn't take anybody with him.

That something is your evil eye.


Simplekin, quite often we run into online posters who babble on about nothing, craft responses in a manner that would lead the reader to believe they have absolutely no grip on reality and/or are operating with a limited mental capacity, when in fact they are mostly just looking to get attention or a reaction for the sake of it. They aren’t really that dumb.

You, however, are a beautiful specimen. Of course, your inane posting style and nonsense statements might lead the reader to the same conclusion, but the video proof/anecdotal evidence we have from those that have experienced your flavor of “climbing” allow us to conclude that indeed, you are a true piece of work. This isn’t a troll or clever ruse. It would be easy to write it off as that if you only read your words, but these videos and the hilarious stories of you biting the rope on cathedral, etc. are clear evidence of just how bad you suck as a human being.

LOL, my good man. LOL.
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Re: Experiment: gloves do not make climbing low 5s harder

Postby Simkin » Thu Sep 28, 2017 1:33 am

Jees, so immoral to bash such a pitiful creature. So unchristian.
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Re: Experiment: gloves do not make climbing low 5s harder

Postby Yank-Tank » Thu Sep 28, 2017 10:09 am

This guy kind of reminds me of vitaliy m back when he was Freesoloing Shasta in his street shoes and jeans.
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Re: Experiment: gloves do not make climbing low 5s harder

Postby clmbr » Thu Sep 28, 2017 5:58 pm

This is pathetic he calls himself a climber but twisted his ankle while hiking with ski poles and called for a helicopter to be rescued and GoPro-ed and posted on YouTube the whole event shamelessly.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZXKfzcyXS6I Go to 3:06-3:12. What would be next?

He is a type of Mt Baldy endeavors who say, after being rescued if survived, the only mistake they made was “leaving their helmet in their car.”

All he cares is publicity, bad is better than none where every click counts, and he has recently gotten a lot of attention and will continue adding some nonsense every so often to keep his thread atop.

This thread was supposed to be moved to “Ethics, Spray, and Slander” forum (“Minimally moderated forum for climbing related hearsay, misinformation, and lies. “) because it has nothing to do with “Technique and Training,” which is “Tips, tricks, workouts, injury advice,” except the opposite.
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Re: Experiment: gloves do not make climbing low 5s harder

Postby butitsadryheat » Thu Sep 28, 2017 9:29 pm

So he is being saved by several other climbers, asks for a rope to rap down. Less impressive each new story we hear. I wonder how many people he has injured while climbing. I wonder how many more he will injur, so he can feel better about his small penis.

He screams from the mountains how tough he is, but ran away from this forum because he was 'visciously attacked' by the 'pack' :lol: By his own mentality, he should been able to hike back down the mountain after spraining his ankle on that weak little 3 foot jump. But no, he wastes our tax dollars (like he does in his day job) in getting a SAR rescue.

I think he and Daria would make a perfect couple now that I think of it! :lol: They could share SAR stories!

Douchebags gonna prolly kill someone before we get the opportunity to watch him show us the inside of his skull.

One thing must be for sure. He is definitely the dominant one while his pudgy research partner is submissove. He must be able to take all sorts of ridicule consisting of Ukrainian and Eastern European nicknames and insults while Simplekin gives him a rim job with gloves on.
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