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Your/the most humorous climbing quotes or sayings

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Your/the most humorous climbing quotes or sayings

Postby thespiffy » Wed Oct 20, 2010 12:41 am

Either something you said, a friend, buddy or a line from a book.

I'll start;

My climbing partner and I's exchange after I wrapped up cleaning the route -- clipping in to the anchor I noticed his tree sapling anchor on pitch 6 of a climb;
Me: "What's up with that ?" *pointing to anchor*
Him: "This? Oh it's bomb"
Me: "It's a dead sapling"
Him: "No it's not" *shakes the tree*
*sticks rain down on our heads from the dead sapling*
Him: "Ok, it's half alive"

Joe Simpson's - The Beckoning Silence
"Unlike their predecessors (ice screws) they can hold quite substantial falls, if the ice is good, and they no longer require enough energy expenditure to light up a small city when you place them"

My partner was asked by one of my friends who doesn't climb;
"Who do you pray to when you fall?"
My partner says: "My belayer"
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Re: Your/the most humorous climbing quotes or sayings

Postby thespiffy » Wed Oct 20, 2010 1:50 pm

Well then.

I'll just assume you all only climb with mutes.

Rad.
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Re: Your/the most humorous climbing quotes or sayings

Postby WingLady » Wed Oct 20, 2010 3:15 pm

We were walking along the base of a wall with several easy to moderate routes, when we heard this proclamation by a young man leading a 5.7 pitch, calling out to his belayer:

"Dude! This is a lot harder than the gym!"
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Re: Your/the most humorous climbing quotes or sayings

Postby adventurer » Wed Oct 20, 2010 3:35 pm

As we discuss a tricky unroped night descent to avoid an unplanned bivy; I say to my climbing partner, "we both have headlamps, let's just go real slow and be careful....we'll be fine"
His reply; "OK, you go first. That way if your light disappears, I'll know where the edge is"

Another time in the Andes with the same partner. I wake up at 5AM in our tent feeling unusually cold even in my bag. I ask him to grab his Suunto from the tent pocket and read the temp.
He does so and says, it's 21. I complain bitterly and ask him how that's possible. He checks again turns to me and says, "I forgot the minus sign".
"When you travel, if you avoid the people, reject the food, ignore the customs, and fear the religion..... you might as well stay home"
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Re: Your/the most humorous climbing quotes or sayings

Postby wildoats » Wed Oct 20, 2010 5:39 pm

I'm not sure who gets credit for this quote, but I read it in Jim Whittaker's book:
There's an old saying that climbers rope up so the smart ones can't leave

Also a fan of this one from Kelly Cordes:
Of course fun comes in different forms, from Type I fun (fun while it’s happening, otherwise known as fun), to the rewarding Type II fun (fun only in retrospect), and occasionally Type III fun (not fun at all)
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Re: Your/the most humorous climbing quotes or sayings

Postby Hotoven » Wed Oct 20, 2010 6:22 pm

My partner...

"Nate, quit Ghetto palm'em that rock son!"
"Hey, careful, man, there's a beverage here!"
- The Dude, Lebowski
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Re: Your/the most humorous climbing quotes or sayings

Postby kamil » Wed Oct 20, 2010 10:46 pm

'Let's go. The mountains are waiting for victims.'
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Re: Your/the most humorous climbing quotes or sayings

Postby Andinistaloco » Wed Oct 20, 2010 11:32 pm

Climbing in the Tetons:

Me, 20 feet up: "Damn, this is getting kind of funky up here."
Partner: "Yeah, that's why I let you lead it."
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Re: Your/the most humorous climbing quotes or sayings

Postby Matt Worster » Wed Oct 20, 2010 11:56 pm

During a traverse with few chances of pro, my one chance was a crack in a REALLY hollow flake.

following partner: you put much stock in this placement?
me: it's a mental nut, really.

the quote has lived on.
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Re: Your/the most humorous climbing quotes or sayings

Postby NW » Thu Oct 21, 2010 12:22 pm

No matter how sharp you think your wits are, the rocks below are alot sharper.
No matter how fast you think your reflexes are, gravity's effect is alot faster.

My reasons as to why I don't drink the night before a climb.
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Re: Your/the most humorous climbing quotes or sayings

Postby McCannster » Thu Oct 21, 2010 4:48 pm

"Off belay...sort of"
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