So I was in Bogota, with some business partners.
Yes I was in Colombia (no U's in Colombia my friend) with some 'business partners.'
We were driving through the city, to get dinner. I was introduced to Peruvian food that evening, the best cerviche I have ever tasted, nothing like the Mexican taco-truck fare I am used to in Cali. The 3 of us had a fantastic dinner with beers for under 20 bucks, too.
Anyway, we were in a nice part of the city, near the Bogota Brewery. I can't remember the district, but its quite safe and pleasant at night.
I commented on all the beautiful women about...
"Colombia must have the most beautiful women in the world!" I exclaimed in wonder.
One of my compatriots replied,
"You think so? I'm from Medellin. Medellin is famous for its beautiful women who like to dress up. Here in Bogota? My friend, don't take this wrong, but I think they are homely."
He said this with a Colombian shark's grin. I was thinking, if THIS is homely, I can't WAIT to go to Medellin.
"How far of a drive is it?" I asked eagerly.
Philippe, the other guy, responded,
"Oh it can take 4 hours or 6 weeks." Deadpan.
"Four hours to six weeks, WHY?!" I asked incredulously. Philippe immediately corrected me,
"No no. I said 4 hours OR 6 weeks. If your journey goes correctly, its a 4 hour drive. If on the other hand you get kidnapped along the way, it will take us 6 weeks to ransom you out again."
Another Colombian Shark Grin. Then Philippe opined on the source of the beauty,
"You see, the English conquered North America, the Spanish bastards conquered South America." Philippe is French Colombian, dual citizenship. His boss was Spanish Colombian, also dual citizenship. For Philippe 'Spanish Bastard' was one word, hah! He continued,
"They have very different plan for the New World. The English? They kill everybody, start over. The Spanish? They kill all the men, rape all the women. And that is why Colombia now has the most beautiful women in the world."
Now I dunno about Colombian theories of racial genetics and all that.... but I do know Colombia has the most beautiful women in the world, I've seen only the homely ones but by god they are the prettiest homlies I have ever seen!