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Re: What sucks about AZ

PostPosted: Sun Oct 17, 2010 3:30 am
by Andinistaloco
So, two hunters from New Mexico were driving through the country to go bear hunting. They came upon a fork in the road where a sign read "BEAR LEFT"
...so they went home.

A different two New Mexican guys rent a boat and go fishing in a lake. They are amazed at the number of fish that they caught that day, so one says to
the other, "We'll have to come back here tomorrow!"
The other asks, "But how will we remember where this spot is?"
The first guy then takes a can of spray paint, paints an X on the bottom of the boat, and says, "We'll just look for this X tomorrow!"
The other guy says, "You idiot! How do you know we'll get the same boat?"

Re: What sucks about AZ

PostPosted: Sun Oct 17, 2010 6:27 am
by mrchad9
The first guy was probably Truchas.

Re: What sucks about AZ

PostPosted: Sun Oct 17, 2010 11:20 pm
by Jerry L
Just happened upon this thread. One of the best on SP forever. Please don't stop. :D

Re: What sucks about AZ

PostPosted: Mon Oct 18, 2010 1:01 am
by MoapaPk
New Joyzee also is spelled with a "zee."

Re: What sucks about AZ

PostPosted: Mon Oct 18, 2010 1:34 am
by lcarreau
Things you CAN'T do in Arizona :

# You may not have more than two dildos in a house.

# Any misdemeanor committed while wearing a red mask is considered a felony. This goes back in the days of the Wild West.

# There is a possible 25 years in prison for cutting down a cactus.

# When being attacked by a criminal or burglar, you may only protect yourself with the same weapon that the other person possesses.

# Hunting camels is prohibited.

# Donkeys cannot sleep in bathtubs.

# It is unlawful to refuse a person a glass of water.

8)

Re: What sucks about AZ

PostPosted: Mon Oct 18, 2010 4:02 am
by Andinistaloco
lcarreau wrote:
# Hunting camels is prohibited.



Well, shit, I'm glad you told me that. There was a huge herd of camels just north of my house this morning, and I REALLY wanted to shoot one. Now I'm very glad I refrained. Is this a felony, or a misdemeanor?

Re: What sucks about AZ

PostPosted: Mon Oct 18, 2010 4:23 am
by MoapaPk
FortMental wrote:HEY!! Where'd my buddy Eloy go?


He died before 1990. Eloy's New Mexican restaurant was about the best on the east side of Albuquerque; at one time there were 3 locations, but the one on Eubank was the best. The stuffed sopapillas were great.

Say, did you hear about the Texan who was driving N from Santa Fe, when he saw the sign for Pojoaque? He was angry about all the sissy spellings and bizarre pronunciations, so he pulled into a Burger King, and demanded that the kid at the counter pronounce the name really slowly, so he could understand. So the kid said...

"B-U-R-G-E-R K-I-N-G."

Then there were the three guys from Espanola who were on "That's Incredible!" ...

Re: What sucks about AZ

PostPosted: Mon Oct 18, 2010 4:33 am
by lcarreau
Andinistaloco wrote:
lcarreau wrote:
# Hunting camels is prohibited.



Well, shit, I'm glad you told me that. There was a huge herd of camels just north of my house this morning, and I REALLY wanted to shoot one. Now I'm very glad I refrained. Is this a felony, or a misdemeanor?


I'm completely "dumbfounded" as far as giving up an answer. Speaking of giving things up..

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Re: What sucks about AZ

PostPosted: Mon Oct 18, 2010 4:50 am
by Bob Sihler
An Arizonan, a New Mexican, and a Texan were traveling together. They were lost, night came upon them, and they happened upon a farm. The owner, a generous man, agreed to put them up for the night, but he had this to say:

"I only have two extra beds, so one of you will have to sleep in the barn."

Since no one on SP is ghey, the men decided who would take the barn. The New Mexican volunteered.

A little later, there was a knock on the door. The farmer answered, and on the doorstep was the New Mexican.

"My religion forbids me to sleep under the same roof as a cow," he said.

So the Texan went out to the barn.

Soon enough, there was a knock on the door, and on the doorstep stood the Texan.

"My religion forbids me to sleep under the same roof as a pig," he said.

So the Arizonan went out to the barn.

Soon enough, there was a knock on the door, and on the doorstep stood the cow and the pig.

Re: What sucks about AZ

PostPosted: Mon Oct 18, 2010 4:58 am
by Bob Sihler
A ventriloquist gets lost and needs quarters for the night. He finds a farmhouse and knocks on the door.

The owner is a little skeptical, but the ventriloquist works his charm.

"Hello," says the cow.

"I've been plucked for down products, which equal animal cruelty, and I have the sunburn to prove it," says the goose.

The farmer's son, a little Arizonan boy named AL, whitens and says, "If that sheep says anything, she's a goddam liar!"

Re: What sucks about AZ

PostPosted: Mon Oct 18, 2010 7:45 am
by Bob Burd
AZ - what's not to love?

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Re: What sucks about AZ

PostPosted: Mon Oct 18, 2010 9:53 am
by MoapaPk
A New Mexican met an Arizonan while hiking through the desert. The New Mexican had a big squirt bottle of water, and a towel wrapped around his head; the Arizonan was carrying a car door. The AZ guy was quite puzzled, and asked the NM guy what the water bottle and towel were for. NM replied, "when I get too hot, I spray water on the towel, and am cooled by evaporation." To this AZ guy sneered and said, "whenever I get hot, I just roll down the window."

Re: What sucks about AZ

PostPosted: Wed Oct 20, 2010 11:56 pm
by Andinistaloco
FortMental wrote:
Andinistaloco wrote:
lcarreau wrote:
# Hunting camels is prohibited.



Well, shit, I'm glad you told me that. There was a huge herd of camels just north of my house this morning, and I REALLY wanted to shoot one.


You Arizona bonehead, those were no camels! That was the Northern Arizona University Cheerleading Squad. What are you gonna do with a dead cheerleader, anyway? Oh let me guess.....


You New Mexico terrorists need glasses.

This is an ex-NAU cheerleader, now a Cardinals cheerleader:

Image

This is a UNM cheerleader:

Image

This is a camel:

Image

Speaking of the AZ Cardinals, how's your pro football team doing this year?

...oh, right, I forgot. :lol:

Re: What sucks about AZ

PostPosted: Thu Oct 21, 2010 12:32 am
by lcarreau
Andinistaloco wrote:
This is a camel:

Image


Geez, and I always thought camels had TWO humps!

Wait-a-minute. That might be the connection between a camel and a cheerleader!

Image

:shock:

Re: What sucks about AZ

PostPosted: Thu Oct 21, 2010 12:38 am
by MoapaPk
Wow, that UNM cheerleader is hot -- looks muscular and real.