SummitPost.org

Thanks for the comments! It really did help in the decision about the response.

The more time and energy you put into a project, the more it pisses you off when things don't go well. So, you are not really overreacting. Just vent a little and let the steam dissipate over time.

Always good to go do a little climbing to clear such messes out of the closet.

I would advise against posting a story with all the negative details. Those types of stories just don't reflect well on the writer. Just move on and post trip reports of your favorite adventures.

Good advice from Greg, Anon10. Wait for things/your emotions to settle first before making any bad decisions.
I've found out in the past that these types of things can come back to haunt you if you retort from the hip.

While back at CSU (Colorado State Univ. circa. 1994), I had a similar situation involving a 'guided' trip to Nepal up Island Peak.
I was told in as many words I couldn't go. Granted, my alpine experience was nothing compared to what it is now, my fitness back then
was the best it's ever been (I used to run 14ers). I simmered & stewed but eventually I settled down. Now, I could easily do the mountain
on my own and I'd have no qualms about doing it solo. Time is always an issue.

Take Greg's advice and wait. Make contact first with this guy ('Joe') and ask him if he'd be forthright enough with you to at least tell
you why. If someone is honest with you, despite how it may sound, at least they respect you enough to tell ya the truth. Then based on your
experience and committment thus far, calmly ask why he doesn't think you'd be a good fit.
Not a lot of specifics in this post, sorry but not much to go on in the OP. I would try and get him engaged in a logics debate regarding the climb,
safety, experience and other members and how they compare. Make him take a stand as to why he made his decision based on a singular criterium vs.
a group criteria. Otherwise, it just sounds like he has something against you and not man enough to admit it.
Keep a level head.

First, read Greg's advice above.

Second, there's no way for us to tell whether you're overreacting. You give us a one-sentence quote from an email, but it's clear that you're really angry about a whole bunch of past conversations, and that you're (understandably) sensitive about the subject of what you're able to do on your own. You even use the phrase "last straw." Is one little straw worth getting upset about? Definitely not. If you want to ask what we'd do if we had your pile of straws, we'll have to see the whole pile in detail, and as Greg says, that's probably not a good idea.

That one sentence, by the way, is the type of badly written jumble that is typical when the writer suspects that the reader won't like the news. He's trying to say "we're kicking you out" without actually saying it. I don't know whether he's saying anything about why they're kicking you out - he's trying not to. The words "able" and "find a way" might mean that he thinks you need his help to get up the mountain, or they might just be part of his standard kiss-off. If the former, he's pretty obtuse (in a particularly annoying way, given the nature of his organization); if the latter, he's a little insensitive (ditto). It's even possible he chose those words on purpose because he hoped they would piss you off; it's impossible for me to know (though it doesn't seem likely - if it was intentional, he'd probably use better grammar). It does sound like the two of you had been disagreeing about some "other issue" for a while - you don't sound surprised to be parting ways with the expedition. Maybe he was convinced he was lifting some "last straw" of his own. Welcome to humanity. If you can make it up the mountain, maybe you can deal with a jerk too.

PS I might be confused about which came first - the call from Joe or the email from Joe. Some of what I said above makes little sense if I got the order wrong. But per Greg's advice, never mind.

PPS Is Joe actually a climber? Maybe he's never met *anyone* who'd be comfortable doing a solo climb?

Me too! Me too! I tend to agree with the advice others have given, but I suspect there is an some history (among you and Joe and other members) that you are not telling us.

Vetting people is tricky, especially if they must work as a team and live in close quarters for any amount of time. Incompatibilities arise, which are really not the "fault" of any individual. People just have different styles, and sometimes the styles don't mesh and cause needless headaches.

Maybe Joe is just a jerk; but maybe he is foreseeing a living Hell of personality conflicts that you might be forced to endure for a few weeks on a big mountain.

Thanks for the comments! It really did help in the decision about the response.

A few things you might consider:

1. The organization may need to employ guides for liability reasons.

2. Not agreeing to sign media releases is likely a problem for them - they want publicity.

3. Some of us need guides and a condescending attitude toward those of us who do can be seen as an atttitude problem. It definitely wouldn't endear you to the other climbers if they feel they need a guide. That sort of attitude could also cause friction with the guides and the organization doesn't need that.

4. Sometimes we all need to just go along and get along. Doing things that we feel are beneath us doesn't belittle us; it's part of what maturity is all about. So don't take it all so seriously.