Above the Crags, below Devils Playground
Photo by cftbq

We encountered some strong wind that subsided as the day progressed. Other than that, we had gorgeous weather and unobstructed views. The trail follows an old road through some rocks, intersecting the Pikes Peak road at Devil's Playground. We crossed the road and stayed on the trail, which parallels the road a piece, departs briefly until another hairpin turn, which we skirted before making a direct ascent of the summit. This stretch along the road is all fairly level. Distance is gained, but not altitude. To this point, the entire route is on a well travelled trail. The summit pitch was the only other climb, barely a Class 2 scramble up boulders. To make it interesting, I chose to stay close to the edge of the Bottomless Pit to enjoy the views during my scamper to the top. This variation is heavily cairned, as is the presumably standard route (also marked with paint and flags, probably for future trail construction).

The summit dome from Devils Playground
Photo by myrone

We started at 7:30AM and summited at 11:30AM. The group had split up early in the hike, so some with later obligations returned faster than others. Generally, 4 hours up and 3-4 hours down was the rule. But the hike was just part of the story...

IN THE LAND OF THE TOURISTEE

Once at the top, I decided to allow myself to become...a TOURIST! I had become a Mister Hyde to my Doctor Jekyll, just for the fun of it. How often do I climb a mountain, only to delight in eating bad food and shop for useless souvenirs? Being a native, I wanted to try to understand the tourist experience, to see what Pikes Peak was to the casual visitor.

So I headed straight for the cafe. I bought some chili and a nasty looking, grease-soaked doughnut, ordered a pizza and got a rootbeer from the fountain. $11 and change later, I dug in like a ravenous tourist who was exhausted from riding the cog train to the top. Frankly, the chili was delicious and really hit the spot. The doughnut was so nasty it tasted great, and reminded me of the doughnuts they used to make at the summit house on top of Mount Evans. When the pizza (personal pan sized) was finally delivered (nuked to supposed perfection), a few bites was all I could stand. Worst pizza on the planet (not that I was surprised, mind you). The sauce was horrid, the cheese was just plain gross. I highly recommend if you ever visit the Pikes Peak cafe-avoid the pizza at all costs. I was happy to throw it out, content to have paid the money so I didn't have to eat it.

Then, it's off to the restroom! Wow! A real toilet on a 14er! And it smelled nice, too! No cold rock upon which to set my freezing ass in wailing wind to make a deposit. The tile in the restroom was the same as the tile in my basement. Wow! My very own personal link to Pikes Peak. Identical tile!

Then, it's off to go shopping! Yippee! Junk galore. All kinds of stuff to buy. The usual stuff like mugs and plates and T-shirts. Trivial throw-away toys for the kids are there, plastic memories that won't last any longer than their impression of the mountain. People were dizzy, had headaches (including me-probably from that awful pizza), kids were grouchy and did not understand why, and folks were winded just looking at the merchandise. There was an oxygen bar getting a lot of business, offering a number of taste sensations, including death by chocolate! I bought a surprisingly well crafted trinket box with the mountain carved on the cover, perfect for holding my impressive collection of three 14er pins (Democrat, Kit Carson & Capitol)! Wow! What a lucky day for this shopper-I found just what I wanted on top of a mountain where that famous American anthem was written! Gee, what was the name of that tune again? Ooo-there's the Cog train! There's a mad rush of folks trying to get on it-they're dying to get off this stupid hill that's so damn high it's ridiculous! Hell--You gotta buy air up here if you're going to survive!

The summit is massive, and so, its sole purpose is to (a) thrill you with a wilderness experience and awesome view, or (b) serve as a parking lot (as in BIG parking lot). The answer is B (although the view is impressive if you do enough walking to see it all unobstructed). Cars everywhere. A boom truck was parked over by the Army's research station. The wind had blown over a make-shift sign that said "closed-do not enter." Of course we walked right through the area on the trail.

We had our picture taken at the summit sign. We shot a picture of a family in exchange for our picture being taken. Their digital camera was worth at least $600. Our throw away camera wasn't worth the cardboard it's made out of. The matriarch of this large family was over wheight and waddling bravely around the summit with a walker. She kidded us about being crazy enough to walk up the mountain, then commended us for our effort, which was nice. Then she ambled off on her walker with her husband and various offspring in tow.

I completed the experience by calling my Dad on a cell phone at the top of the Bottomless Pit to wish him a happy birthday. He was quite impressed (forgetting that I climb tougher mountains routinely). I won't deny that cell phones are a handy innovation that serve climbers well, particularly in emergencies. Still, I just can't handle the idea of talking on a cell phone while on a mountain as a matter of routine. There's something artificial about it. Mountain climbing sure has changed over the years. Instead of enjoying the silence of a remote summit, sharing the experience with those who appreciate it as you do with a hug and a few words of friendship, folks whip out their phones (always stuck to their ear during the week) and blab to people far away.

But this was Pikes Peak, a very different and unique 14er experience. It was practically expected of me, in my touristee mode, to whip it out and make a call (the phone belongs to my girlfriend). At least this call had a purpose other than to brag about bagging another 14er.

I then became Doctor Jekyll, popped back into reality and walked back down the mountain, and pooped in the rocks about half way down. There's not too many 14ers where you can poop in plain sight of a road (besides Mount Evans or Antero), and not be noticed.

BACK TO REALITY: ABANDONED -OR- WHAT IT"S LIKE TO HIKE WITH DESERTERS

Our group was large. Ellen, my girlfriend, organized this event as an extra-curricular hike in addition to our regular group's hikes. Designed as an outing for the girls, it expanded in size and scope shortly after I was invited along. I wasn't about to do the Barr trail again, but when the Crags approach was chosen, I was rarin' to go, mostly because it's somewhere I had not been before.

In the car, the obligatory conversation of mountain experiences and goals to be attained took place. I was basically ignored (which was fine), and thus I was able to listen. I was surprised at the competitive tone among these women (in their 40s), which verged almost on audacity. Their accomplishments were impressive (14 14ers for one 48 year old this summer, and by God it'll be 20 before Summer's over!), but they spoke as if they knew the mountains they were going to climb intimately. I had more experience than all of them combined and then some, and I wondered if I was ever like that. Perhaps, but I found myself thinking they'd be better off if they would just shut up.

2 men and 7 women went on this hike. Other than Karen and Jennifer, the rest were folks we had little or no experience with. Karen and Beth both tend to hike at lightspeed. So they took off at Warp 7 up the trail. I had to shout at them to drop to impulse power because they were going up the Crags trail. In hindsight, we should have let them continue and learn a lesson. Traditionally, the leader and/or most experienced person is in the middle or rear of the group, and such was the case with Ellen and me. These highly competitive and speedy hikers blasted off without the foggiest idea where they were supposed to go.

Once on the right trail, they blazed and were gone. I encourage folks to hike at their own pace to avoid getting tired, so I did not mind their brisk pace. The four super women were not seen again until the top. The remaining five eventually splintered into two groups. The three went ahead while I hung back with Ellen, who was having a bad day after a week of inadequate sleep. One of those three, (Ellen's friend) dropped back at the final pitch and ended up following me up the rocks.

In the cafe, very little conversation took place, and none with me personally. An associate of Ellen's that lived in Colorado Springs had arranged for her husband to drive to the top with visiting relatives and give her a ride down (Pikes was her first 14er-a regular runner, she blasted to the top). Next thing we know, everyone has a ride down. The hubby takes the group down to where the road intersects the route at Devil's Playground, then drives back up and fetches the wife and relatives and takes off. No one in this group (and we're talking friends and associates of Ellen's) volunteered to arrange a ride for Ellen (forget me), nor did her associate offer Ellen a ride. Ellen organized the event, and was essentially abandoned by these folks, concerned only with their own welfare, sore bodies and pressing schedules. Not that it mattered. Ellen and I planned on walking back down. But the inconsiderate nature of this group was surprising.

The return was pleasant, and we took our time, taking fequent breaks and enjoying the day. Upon our arrival at the car, the others were long gone without as much as a thank you. "See ya. Bye." Woosh! Gone! Sharon was waiting for us since the get-away vehicle was full. Had we known this, we would have hi-tailed it back, so she waited about an hour for us to show up.

EPILOGUE: DO YOU TRUST YOUR PARTNERS?; DEFINING A CLIMB; WHAT IT"S LIKE TO BE A TOURIST & THE CHARACTER OF PIKES PEAK

Betchya didn't think a trip report on Pikes Peak was possible! Well, here you have it. I hope you've enjoyed the reading.

In closing:

A. Know who you're hiking with, if at all possible. This obviously requires a span of time invested on your part, but if you can learn about folks on an easy hike like Pikes Peak, it's better than dealing with an unreliable person on Capitol's Knife Edge. Folks we normally hike with acted quite differently when mixed in the company of others, and this caught me off guard. I've been hiking for most of my life, and I trust my life to my longtime partners. In casual hiking with new folks, I have had very plesant experiences as well. This incident on Pikes reminded me that when it comes to human behavior, there is no absolute. When embarking on a hike with those you don't know or know well, don't expect them to act like the norm every time. You'll be surprised, and you'll still learn a bunch about human behavior on the mountain, even if you're an experienced old goat like me.

B. The debate continues on when a mountain is climbed. Hardliners say you must do it completely under your own power. The woman in the walker helped me see it another way. Certainly for those who can, you should climb the mountain that is destined to be climbed on your own power accordingly. For those who can't, we have Pikes Peak (and Mt. Evans for the more stout hearted tourist). As far as I'm concerned, that woman climbed Pikes Peak--all the way from her car. She climbed it with the aid of her vehicle, her family and her walker. This is no different in my mind than a climber using aid on a big wall or ladders, rope and rack on Mt. Everest. If the mountain has a road on it, by all means, get a ride down, particularly if it's sensible. If you walk back down, then perhaps you honored the mountain appropriately, and you're just a little more qualified than those who would ride down.

C. It was fun being a tourist. What a charge it must be to visit Pikes Peak. The summit experience we may take for granted can be an awesome delight to an inspired tourist. Conversely, some tourists are not impressed by Pikes Peak. It's cold, windy, there's no video parlour or casino and it's just generally an unpleasant place. And what happened to the damn air? Thank God there's a shopping mall (sort of) there. A lighthouse of civility in the great western wilderness of Colorado. I do not discount either experience, and all the variations inbetween. This, after all, is really what makes Pikes Peak unique. It is a mountain suitable to most (not all) people. (Where's the damn air?) Why? Because it was destined to be so, just as Longs was destined to be one of the great alpine training meccas of the world. As a tourist, Pikes is special to me because the tile in the restroom is the same stuff I have in my basement.

D. Pikes Peak can make a claim no other 14er can. It can be many things to many people, more than any other mountain in Colorado. This is what makes Pikes Peak special. Since the summit house burned down on Mount Evans, Pikes Peak has become very unique. It is Colorado's only token commercialized 14er, greasy doughnuts and all! To climb this mountain, only to be greeted at the top by a shopping mall, parking lot and rail station is a very unique experience in one's climbing career. And we climbers have been in some interesting places and situations. But when it comes to irony, nothing beats Pikes Peak! To the casual tourist, what is Pikes Peak? (A place with no damn air!) I won't hazard a guess. I'd probably miss the point anyway. In the end, after the irony, bad pizza and chocolate flavored oxygen, Pikes is still a mountain. A great 14er. If you ever find yourself doubting this fact, just look up at it from Manitou Springs or Garden of the Gods in the spring, when the mountain has some snow and you can appreciate the scale.

There's no denying the majesty and beauty of Pikes Peak, Colorado's most famous 14er (home of those greasy doughnuts).

AJ

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