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You are the weakest link...Goodbye!

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You are the weakest link...Goodbye!

Page Type: Trip Report

Location: Colorado, United States, North America

Object Title: You are the weakest link...Goodbye!

Date Climbed/Hiked: Mar 12, 2012

Activities: Hiking, Mountaineering, Scrambling

Season: Winter


Page By: Kiefer

Created/Edited: May 20, 2013 / May 20, 2013

Object ID: 850162

Hits: 4181 

Page Score: 86.85%  - 23 Votes 

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The Backstory of the Culebra Subrange...

Lucien Maxwell
Kit Carson
DISCLAIMER: This is a trip report at its' heart...a very personal one at that. However, to do this thing justice, I decided to combo it with a bit of a history lesson of the area of where this took place. So it reads part article/part report. This took MANY rewrites & edits to distance myself from the events.

Winter is an interesting season. Please forgive the pun, but it can be very ‘polarizing’ for some. What I mean by that is that it either prohibits or stops some people’s capacity for recreation in the outdoors due to a myriad of reasons (temperatures, inadequate clothing, shorted daylight hours, etc.) or it functions as a source of increased activity: snowshoeing, skiing, winter running, etc. Some folks simply don’t take to winter, simple as that. Some are invigorated and excited by it. Personally, I fall into the latter. 

Winter has another aspect to it that separates it from the other seasons…mistakes come with hard lessons. Inattention and complacency are usually vis-a-vis with serious consequences.

Mistakes of course can happen in all seasons regardless of the person’s ability or their [feeble] attempts to control their surroundings. At best, when dire circumstances do arise whether that means no fluids, impending bad weather, injury, etc. the best we can hope for is mitigation and damage control. The single biggest and most severe mistake I’ve blundered into came on “Whiskey Pass Peak” in March 2012. Everyone is prone to making mistakes. To quote the great Paul Petzoldt,

“…Some people say that experience is the best teacher. To heck with that. I know people who have been making the same mistakes for forty years.”

But on ‘Whiskey Peak’ last winter, even I don’t know who was more elated and happy: myself after a nine hour death march out of the high country under my own power or the Alamosa County Sheriff who was [hopefully] awaiting a solo hiker and not a body recovery the following morning.

“Whiskey Pass Peak” tops out at 12,955ft. The summit is not steep, pointed or surrounded by cliffs. It is an easy and gentle summit that lies in Costilla County. The history surrounding the Culebra sub-range is an old one that could have been taken out of an old-west history book. Akin to something you’d find out of a Hollywood-scripted cross of “Once upon a time in Mexico” and anything involving Lee Van Cleef, a gentleman named Lucien Maxwell was born September 14th, 1818 in Illinois.

Lucien was born to Irish immigrants and like his grandfather, eventually moved further west in search of freedom, land and riches. Lucien is a notable figure in history because, like Ted Turner (currently) he became one of the largest private landholders in United States history. Eventually, Lucien linked up and befriended the legendary old west guide, Kit Carson and the two would become fast friends. Both signed up for the 1841 Fremont expedition where Kit Carson served as chief guide and Maxwell as head hunter.
Three years later in 1844, Lucien Maxwell married the daughter of Carlos (Charles) Beaubien, Luz. In the same wedding, Kit Carson also married the daughter of a prominent Taos family, Josefa Jaramillo. As part of Carlos’ wedding gift to Maxwell and Luz, Carlos and his business partner, Guadalupe Miranda gave roughly 15,000 acres out of their recently appropriated 1,000,000 acre land grant.

In 1847, while Maxwell was at Fort Bent with the governor of New Mexico, the fort came under attack during what is now called the Taos Revolt. Charles Bent, the governor was killed during the ambush but Lucien Maxwell and his wife survived. Miranda, who was also at the fort, survived and fled to Mexico. For the next ten years, Lucien took a more aggressive stance on his land holdings, overlooking and managing them better with the help of his wife. Lucien and Luz eventually settled at Cimarron, New Mexico around the same time the Mexican-American war was coming to a close, building a rather large log home along the Cimarron River with Kit Carson and Josefa.

In 1858, Miranda, still in Mexico, decided to sell his share of the original (Beaubien) land grant to Lucien for approximately $2,745. After Carlos Beaubien died in 1864, Lucien inherited the remaining grant. His land holdings which were located primarily in New Mexico but also ventured up into Southern Colorado now encompassed over 1,700,000 acres. In history books, this entire area is now called the Maxwell Land Grant.
Lucien Maxwell died in 1875 at Fort Sumner where he moved to. Consequently, in 1881, when Patrick Garrett killed Billy the Kid, Billy was laid to rest also at Fort Sumner…right next to Maxwell.

Guadalupe Miranda’s involvement with Carlos Beaubien arose around 1840. The then governor of New Mexico, Manuel Armijo imposed a tax on non-native residents of New Mexico. Needless to say, Beaubien wasn’t thrilled with this new measure. So in late 1840, Beaubien asked for help from Miranda, the secretary of the government to petition for a 1,700,000 acre land grant located on the east side of the Sangre de Cristo Range. January 4th, 1841 Lucien and Miranda got their grant approved by Armijo. However, that wasn’t the end of it. Only two years later in 1843, Beaubien applied for another 1,000,000 acre land grant located in what is essentially now the San Luis Valley in Southern Colorado. He was eventually approved for the grant but because of the previous grant, he ‘gave’ the new one to his 13-yr old son, Narciso. Carlos Beaubien would go on to become a judge on the Supreme Court.

Taos Mission Church --Where the rebels holed up who killed Gov. Bent

Dealings involving politics and land weren’t always cut and dry. In 1847, what is now called the, Taos Rebellion, Mexicans and locals erupted in a short-lived insurrection against the United States imposing greater control over Northern New Mexico and Southern Colorado. During this messy time, Beaubien just happened to be a serving judge in the local legal system. While the attack on Fort Bent was ensuing, not only did Governor Charles Bent, as previously mentioned (New Mexico’s first territorial governor) die in the melee but Beaubien’s son, Narciso was also killed. Carlos Beaubien was accused of ‘harsh dealings’ and unfair sentences (all men captured were sentenced to death) of the captured murderers of his son and good friend.
Because of his attachments and association with the land grant which, included all of Taos, Beaubien had to sell off or give control of the grant to someone else to stymie the accusations. In this case, Beaubien gave control to Lucien Maxwell, his son-in-law whom, also served on the jury convicting the men.

So the local mountains in and around the Northern Culebra Range that emblaze these historical figures are of course: Mt. Maxwell, Miranda Peak and Beaubien Peak. Mariquita Peak and “Whisky Pass Peak” are exceptions in that, Mariquita is simply Spanish for, ‘Ladybug’, which tends to swarm near the summit come summer and “Whiskey Pass Peak” (unofficial name) is named I believe because of its proximity to the old placer mining town of ‘Whiskey’ located to the west which, the pass likewise received its name.

In fact, staying true to its’ Spanish taxonomic origins, the Sangre de Cristo Mountains have always had Spanish and Mexican connotations well before Colorado or New Mexico received territory status or statehood. One of the more popular and romantic stories goes that...

Father Francisco Torres in 1700 while searching for a legendary mine in one of the mountain passes around the Music Pass/Great Sand Dune area, had enslaved some of the local Indians to scout, work and toil in some of the locally known mines. The Indians eventually revolted and drove Father Torres and his men out onto the plains and forced them onto a shanty raft into San Luis Lake.

During sunset on a subsequent evening, witnessing the alpenglow on the eastern mountains from which he was driven, Father Torres while dying from his wounds was said to have exclaimed, “Sangre de Cristo!”
Since everyone died that was part of Father Torres' scouting party, its unknown how this story was passed on or parleyed through the years.

"Just one more peak!"

In March of 2012, Luke and Abe (whom I met via 14ers.com) and myself ventured into the lesser traveled area of the Sangre de Cristo Mountains. Equally sharing a passion for winter, we thought about a trip that involved some peaks located in the Northern Culebra Range. The goal was to hike to De Anza Peak and call it good. We knew Culebra Peak was on private property of course, but what we didn’t know is where that property ended. NONE of the maps we poured over detailed where private property started nor ended.

We've since come to learn, pretty much EVERYTHING in the Culebra Range is private going back to the days of lore. The Culebra sub-range of the Sangre de Cristo’s is astoundingly beautiful. The terrain is untrammeled, unmarked and virgin thanks to the land owners in the area (a bittersweet facet). Even property fences and signage as we found out doesn't exist. Unfortunately, as we trekked southwards along the roof of the range that afternoon, a strong and potent blizzard blew in from the south unpredicted. Friends of mine who were on San Luis Peak the same afternoon, later reported the same conditions. The storm took them by surprise as well.

As the three of us scrambled up the first destination, Maxwell Peak (13,335ft), Luke wasn’t feeling well. He had been sick the previous couple days with what he believed was flu. This is where Luke wisely decided to bow out. We brought a small bivy tent and light sleeping bags ‘just in case’ things went to hell. Luke and I decided to swap sleeping bags on the leeward side of an elevated ‘broken sidewalk of granite’ since he was descending. He had a warmer Western Mountaineering 20° bag and I had a Mountain Hardwear Phantom 32°. Abe and I bid adieu to Luke, watched him descend for a few minutes, then we started to traverse under Maxwell Peak’s summit on its’ southeastern flanks. Before we separated, we had a loose understanding with Luke that Abe and I might bivy for the night and continue further south in the morning along the ridge or weather pending, return later that day.
A month prior on a different trip with intentions of summiting Cuatro and Trinchera Peaks to the north, Abe, Matt and I, not really planning on it but impromptu, set up a bivy at treeline on Maxwell just past midnight; Abe and Matt slept in bivy sacks on the leeward side of some scrub evergreen and I dug out a snow drift, partially sealing it for shelter.

The Northern Culebra Range (-Colorado)

The slope was typical wind-scoured snow with chocolate chips (protruding rocks). We had cached our snowshoes back at treeline. Since the ridges would be predominantly windblown, we reasoned there was no need to carry the extra weight. Between the exposed but frozen rocks and snow which, would have been akin to cement anyway, hardened by the constant winds, it was going to be an easy walk save for the occasional ‘soft-patch’.
Abe and I kept traversing just east of the ridge crest on slab snow staying out of the wind which was howling and screaming across the ridge. Occasionally, a snow devil would crack its’ forked tail at us forcing us to temporarily stop and shelter our faces. Blowing snow and ice can feel a lot like sandpaper grit. The temperatures were cold but manageable if we kept moving. The first mountain on the ridge south of Maxwell is called Mariquita Peak. Abe and I stopped long enough here to take a few pictures and discuss whether or not to continue carrying the weight in our packs or leave behind a small gear cache.

We decided on the latter since the weather wasn’t too cooperative and we’d end up calling it a day once we reached De Anza Peak anyway. As we descended the southern slopes, we stopped about 30 feet off the summit, piled up some rocks as a weak wind break and we piled our gear together. I built a tall, spindly cairn to mark it. Hopefully, the wind wouldn’t knock it over. Once we stopped to do this, it got cold pretty fast. The weather still wasn’t atrocious but it was perhaps slightly worse than an average winters’ day.
Mariquita Peak
Mariquita Peak

The drop off Mariquita Peak (13,405ft) was a few hundred feet and the next goal, De Anza Peak was still another mile further south. Abe choose to descend the ridge and eventually, contoured back to the east off the crest to get out of the wind. I stayed to the ridge crest until I caught up with him on a flat portion. We ascended De Anza Peak (13,333ft) together. This particular traverse was especially windy since it was more open and exposed then what we had to deal with back between Maxwell and Mariquita. Once we reached the summit of De Anza Peak, we took a quick break to eat and drink. The winds had picked up by this point and massive white pillows of clouds were now sweeping across the ridge coming at us from the south and southwest. It was like watching massive cotton balls bounce from one peak to the next. Squalls would unleash horizontal walls of snow with hurricane fury, blinding us, only to be spent minutes later. Blue sky teased us intermittingly when the ‘white tortoises’ weren’t obstructing the surrounding peaks and ridges.

Abe and I discussed whether or not to continue south to get ‘one more peak’ (I’m sure we all know THAT feeling). I was happy with De Anza but the allure of getting another mountain was strong. Plus Abe is a strong climber. The ridge over to “Whiskey Pass Peak” is long. It’s almost 2 miles one way but it would be easy sailing. It was all flat, open and unfortunately, exposed to the winds.

The weather hadn’t shown any improvement nor had it worsened. Abe and I choose to continue south to the summit of “Whiskey Pass Peak”. All our gear was back on Mariquita’s summit. We voiced our concerns about getting too far from our gear stash, knew it wasn’t prudent but decided that ‘The Whiskey’ would be the last summit for the day…

...and this is pretty much where things went to shit.

Proving your salt

Abe (AKA: Fireonthemountain)
Mistakes, as many of us know, can come at any time: during our best intended hikes/climbs, during the best weather windows and during some of the worst storms. Sometimes, mistakes can be borne from our own bad habits and behaviors. And we choose to continue to walk in ‘worn shoes’ fully aware of possible consequences. Old habits can die hard. It’s similar to people eating hot peppers, the capsaicin burning one’s mouth and tongue (it is technically after all a poison). Some people enjoy the feel because it releases endorphins in the body. But constant capsaicin ingestion has also been shown to cause stomach cancers; yet, we still eat it. Alcohol, likewise a poison (the conversion of which, into acetaldehyde is even nastier) can result in all manner of ill effects, yet we still imbibe. The general consensus today with backcountry enthusiasts is that most carry PLB’s (personal locator beacons), SPOTS (a diet version of a PLB) or predominantly, some type of a GPS device. It is good insurance for the hiker in case the, ‘capsaicin gets too hot’, as it were. However, there are also those who rail against the use of technology while in the backcountry, these added, little extra insurance policies in case of separation or when the chips are down and not in your favor. It seemingly ruins the ‘pure’ aesthetic reason for even being in the wilderness. My habit, which I grew up with and embraced, is not carrying devices with me. So I lump myself in with the crowd that chooses not to carry anything.
Luke (AKA: Cool Hand Luke)

My reasoning is if I can’t extract myself from a possibly hazardous or dangerous situation by my own acumen and intelligence, than I have no business being in the backcountry to begin with. I prefer to take things at face value. In the past, I would actually make it a point to venture out DURING storms to navigate and test my route-finding skills when conditions were at their worst, summer or winter. In my opinion, this is where experience and scholarship comes from. Climbing or hiking during sunny, ‘bluebird days’ doesn’t do much good unless your purpose is to take pictures. It’s easy to make a choice if it has no consequences.

Abe and I stood on the broad summit of “Whiskey Pass Peak” undecided as to whether or not to turn back and head for Mt. Maxwell or continue on for one more peak (It’s a powerful song the siren sings). I had decided I was finished for the day and wanted to turn around. Abe kept watching the next summit (Beaubien Peak), turning it over in his head whether or not to continue without me or likewise, ‘call it a day.’ My personal mantra of no technology now morphed from a habit into a serious mistake. In the roughly 10-15 minutes that we separated, a massive squall obliterated the ridge and mountain we were on bringing with it, complete white-out conditions. This is when I descended the wrong ridge. We hiked up the North Ridge. I ended up descending a Northeastern flank instead.

I didn’t realize my mistake until I was roughly 300-400ft down the ridge. A long section of ‘catwalk-like rock’ presented itself that didn’t seem familiar. There hadn’t been any features like it on the walk over to “Whiskey Pass Peak.” Shortly after this, I stopped at an old, broken cairn not far from treeline. For the last twenty minutes, I had been yelling, screaming and blowing that attached whistle that some Black Diamond packs have attached to the chest strap. As strong as the wind was blowing combined with the dampening effects of sound from the clouds, it was pointless and futile. There was no way Abe was going to hear me. I sat down on the cairn with my back to the wind assessing the situation I was now in. I must have sat there for perhaps 20 minutes going over every scenario I could from having a miraculous break in the clouds to freezing to death. Strangely, I was fairly calm while doing this. In terms of nervousness and fear, on a scale of 1 to 10, I was perhaps a 4. If anything could be said at that particular moment, it was that I felt incredibly…alone. I felt cut off from the rest of the world in a way that I’ve never felt before…and I routinely climb/scramble solo.

I wasn’t scared. I felt indifference tainted with sadness. I actually didn’t care if I walked out or not. Thinking on it now, perhaps that’s why I wasn’t scared and why I felt so completely alone. In my mind, I was now on ‘even terms’ with the wilderness.
I continued to sit there for a while longer staring at the blowing snow and ghostly evergreens. I had snatches of my Capitol Peak climb, my snow cave on San Luis Peak, my first snow cave in Officers Gulch and images of my family filter through my head. But like filaments of torn prayer flags, nothing really stuck. As soon as I thought of something, the winds would carry it away…gossamer threads of nostalgia. Eventually, I sat there thinking of absolutely nothing. My eyes actually teared up a little bit for a few minutes and it wasn’t due to the wind. But the strange thing is that…I was smiling.

I stood up, took off my backpack and looked at the broken cairn I was sitting on. It was perhaps two feet high, eight feet around and jumbled. I had no idea if I was on some kind of old social trail or path but the cairn looked like it had been there for a while. I looked back up into the wind. The clouds resembled massively thick contrails chasing whatever ghosts that had unleashed this cold fury. I dropped to my knees next to my pack and the cairn and glanced at the pile.

“Call on God but row away from the rocks.” I muttered after a few minutes.

I looked back up and stared down the wind with eyes closed; feeling the sharp, cold specks pelt my face. It was relaxing. “These ghosts are hawking their memories to unburden themselves of the weight.” I stood back up and paced back and forth for a few minutes on the ridge I was on trying to get an idea of the terrain. I walked back over to the cairn and looked down at it. “Ok, time to build a shelter.”

My Temporary Shelter
My temporary rock shelter

I dismantled and tore apart the emaciated cairn. I walked around in circles and parabolas prying rocks loose from the frozen ground. I made a decently-sized pile. I started to build a wall while smearing the cavities with packed snow. I kept building the wall in a rough ‘U-shape’ similar to an open-ended bathtub. I went back and forth between building the walls higher, packing snow in the recesses and leveling the dirt floor inside. By the time I was finished; I could sit down inside, cross-legged and have the wall roughly a foot above my head. My rock shelter was roughly 5 feet long. After nearly a couple hours of labor, I was now completely out of the wind! I lay down for about 30 minutes, eyes closed just resting. The snow was still drifting in lightly from the torrents but otherwise, I was quite comfortable. It had gotten cold now that I had stopped moving but my tolerance towards the cold has always been high. Maybe that’s because of the Scandinavian blood coursing through my veins or maybe I have a higher than normal percentage of brown fat; who knows? While lying there, I had a dilemma quietly sneak up on me like a shadow but I could feel its presence.

It was a problem that stank of pragmaticism and urgency. The question was: do I stay put in my shelter for the duration of the storm not knowing how long it would last or do I leave and scramble back up to the summit to put myself in a better position in case the clouds broke for long enough, so I could get a good ‘jump’ towards the ridge I needed? I was divided as to what to do. I could see the merits and consequences in both options. In the end, even though I’d be leaving the confines of a solid shelter, I reasoned I’d have a better chance of success in getting out of this pickle if I were higher and already in position to immediately strike out without first, having to regain ~400ft of ridge. I sat up, not comfortable with the decision but accepting of the logic behind it, shouldered my pack and walked back up towards the summit in a worsening storm.

The entire west face of ‘Whiskey’ is a massive open-faced slope. It reminded me of the North Ridge on Mt. of the Holy Cross. The true summit is noticeable only because of a large cairn built thereon. The eastern face falls away into moderate cliffs. I paced back and forth across the slope for perhaps an hour. I never did see anything except laminar rivers of white and grey. At times, the clouds became so thick, not even the exposed rocks protruding from the slope could divide the horizon. So at this point, I stopped looking for recognizable features and focused my attentions instead on the slope I had crisscrossed. I was having trouble trying to find suitable rocks, anything large enough that could form the apex of a shelter or wind break. Everything was either buried by snow or too uniform in size to be of much help. The winds were steadily picking up and the snow was starting to fall harder. It was near 6:00pm by my watch and I was at roughly 12,800ft. I needed something that I could bivy down for the night.

I started to dig and ply rocks loose from the talus and pile them up as high as I could. I worked quickly as dusk was being rudely shoved aside by the approaching night. I managed to carve out a crude recess just long enough for one person with perhaps a couple inches on each side for wiggle room. I got out Luke’s sleeping bag and crawled inside with boots and full clothing still on. It was now about 7:30pm. That evening and subsequent morning were and still are, the scariest and most intense I’ve ever spent in the high-country, trumping even my experiences on Crestone Needle. I didn’t really sleep. I couldn’t sleep. The snow would have buried me. I had to literally move every 15 minutes or so to pack out the fresh snow that had fallen around me and every 30 minutes, I needed to stand up and hop in place to keep myself warm. I had managed to carve out a grapefruit-sized depression in the snow underneath me for a breathing space. It worked as long as I didn’t move and I changed out the air when it got noticeable harder to breath. Problem was, when I did move, the seal I had formed broke and the depression would fill up with blowing snow.

Mentally, I was starting to fall.
The storm was gradually diminishing my resolve and will. It got to the point where I simply stopped moving and just laid there. I felt defeated. If I felt insufferably alone before, it was nothing compared to this new blackness I was now experiencing. This had to be similar to what Chris McCandless felt before he starved to death in the Alaskan wilderness. I know that’s a strong comparison to use but I truly don’t know how else to explain it. The feelings of isolation I experienced earlier were nothing to what I was now going through. My head was bouncing back & forth from a complete mess to moments of clarity. I was beginning to feel that the elements were winning, that I wasn’t a strong enough person mentally to get through this; that I wasn’t ‘man enough’ at least how society would dictate. It was right around this time that my legs started to violently shiver. I couldn’t get them to stop. I squeezed my eyes shut and repeated over and over, “shit, shit, shit.”

Eventually, I gave up the motion of standing up and hoping around. I just didn’t want to and to be honest, I kind of stopped caring. I don’t know how long it lasted but it felt like hours. The shivering gradually got stronger and virtually uncontrollable. I was tired and cold but still coherent enough to know that once the shivering stopped, I’d be in serious trouble. I cleared my breathing space for the 86th time and proceeded to have a serious conversation with God. I whispered, “Ok, if this is it, if this is how things are gonna end, let’s do this. Get this shit done with. I’m a failure here anyway.” I closed my eyes, my face slackened and I tried to sleep, ignoring my legs. The winds were insidious, snow unrelenting and all was dark. I fell asleep.......I think?

Looking back at whence we came

I was buried underneath a few inches of snow and actually inhaling snow that was blowing into my filled depression. My breathing space was pretty much gone. I blew out and coughed repeatedly sending up a small spindrift of snow that melted and partially froze to my face. The front of my knit hat had partially frozen to my eyebrows and I had to squint and wink vigorously to get rid of some of the ice on eyelashes, detriments I suppose of having eyebrows like Thufir’s from Frank Herbert’s ‘Dune.’ The shivering in my legs had subsided into a slow and drunk staccato. I think the temperatures were probably in the low to mid-teens, definitely not the coldest I’ve been in. I don’t know what the wind chill would have been, probably something akin to zero.

For whatever reason, I thought of that disco scene in Airplane! when Ted Striker is tearing up the dance floor. The shivers in my legs probably did it. Then I started to laugh. I laughed quite hard and for a long time; letting out long and high wails that should have sent the banshees into wild fits of laughter. I told myself, “You idiot. If you’re coherent enough to think of something as random as that, than you’re still a long way from punching your ticket.” I jumped up (which was actually quite difficult) and nearly fell over on my face due to my legs not wanting to work and started to hop in place grimacing at the pain as best I could yelling, rather loudly, every obscenity I could think of, still laughing mind you. “This is mad!” I exclaimed. That’s when a smash-up of that ‘This is Sparta!’ scene from ‘300’ and the ‘You’re wrong sir, this is non-sense!’ scene from ‘Brain Donors’ popped into my head. I plopped back down and started shoveling out the snow (still laughing) as best I could from my little hole.
The sleeping bag had long ago lost its thermal benefit. It had been soaked for hours. I spent the remainder of the morning in constant motion…laying down, hopping in place, shoveling snow, sitting up etc.

It was around 10:30am that for what had to be the 123rd time, I looked around and finally saw the ridge I needed! I remembered two, massive black rock columns that marked it on the way over. Probably vestigial from some ancient and lost mine.
I jumped back up and actually did fall over on my face this time, still cocooned in the wet sleeping bag. I wiggled out of it getting a face full of blowing snow in the process and threw everything into my pack. I had to do some searching and digging for my pack which had during the morning hours become buried. I wobbled down the slope as fast as my spent legs could manage knowing exactly where I needed to go now.

The last 16 hours had tested my resolve in ways I could never imagine nor want to ever experience again. I gladly left my apathy there on the slope, hopefully frozen to the rocks (along with my Kuhl sweater) never to find me again.
Mt. Maxwell
Mt. Maxwell

The winds never diminished. And as I would eventually find out, the hardest part, at least physically was still to come. I was knocked over twice on the flat stretch from “Whiskey Pass Peak” to De Anza Peak. I passed by the two, black stone columns which, stood out pretty well against the grey but I had absolutely no idea where the edge/cornice was.
As far as those two black columns go and the mine, I don’t know what it would have been. I suppose the possibilities are that it could have been the fabled, “Lost Spanish Mine” or even, “White’s Cement Mine”. As I’ve since found out, the entire area is privately owned. So it’s doubtful I’ll ever find out. Nature’s reclamation of history and lore I suppose.

My goggles kept freezing over obscuring my sight but I had to keep them on. Every time I took them off to see where I was, my face got blasted with snow and ice; irritating to be sure but what worried me more than having a raw face is not knowing where the edge was. I started to notice that the terrain was steepening and every so often, the winds would actually let up enough to grant me sight towards the slope ahead.
I was indeed starting the ascent of De Anza Peak. While hiking up the open ridge, I kept thinking how bizarre it was that so much snow was sticking to the slope instead of being blown to the east. I was post-holing in roughly a foot of new powder. I started to shy away from the recesses interspersed among the talus and instead, started to rock-hop towards the summit. Being pummeled and pushed around by the winds, I must have looked like I was drunk.

I was hoping that once I reached the summit of De Anza Peak, I could find a small wind-break and rest for a few minutes, that didn’t happen. Once I set foot on that snowy apogee, the winds were scouring the top like an invisible Brillo Pad. It was brutal! I kept walking across the summit and down the other side. The clouds were starting to break up which was great because now, I could at least see the terrain. What I saw completely deflated my spirits. All the marvelous talus and hardened snow from the previous day was gone.
The ridge leading over to Mariquita Peak was a quilt of unbroken white and completely featureless. All I could discern were explosions of snow ripping off the ridgeline. I plopped down on my knees, hung my head and exhaled sharply and rather angrily, “You’ve got to be kidding me. Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck You!” I literally screamed over and over. The only positive I could see stemming my way from the weather is that the clouds were becoming more infrequent and the winds were slowly diminishing. This should have lifted my spirits immensely.
But all I could focus on at that moment was the immense physical task I still had to endure. I kneeled there for a few more minutes contemplating what lay ahead…then started down the ridge.
Another view of my shelter

The descent took a while as I was trying to avoid post-holing thus twisting an ankle. I finally reached the flat section of the ridge and had my suspicions confirmed…only it was worse than I expected. I was planning on having to shuffle through a foot or so of fresh powder, maybe a little more. But what I found was that I was wading through almost waist-deep powder snow. The trek across the ridge was prohibitively slow. I was wishing I had my snowshoes with me. Hopefully, Abe left them near tree-line at the base of Mt. Maxwell where we stashed them.

To keep my mind off the ensuing ‘death-march’, I was running various scenarios through my head. Would Abe and Luke call SAR? If not, how long would they wait before they did? Had SAR been up to search already and if so, how far would they have gotten up that road on Mt. Maxwell? I wanted to get down as fast as I could, back to Abe’s truck before what I had hoped; the full complement of SAR was dispatched if they hadn’t been already. My progress on the ridge however, well, was a joke.
I suppose I didn’t have to worry about falling on the hardened snow and sliding down the slope. There was just too much fresh powder snow for that to happen. My pace was maddeningly slow. In the words of Jim Morrison, it was slow and mad like “learning a new language.” But it was the better alternative to walking in the winds’ fury on the ridge crest.

The ascent of Mariquita Peak was like plodding through a Calculus textbook. I consider myself to be in good physical shape but I could feel my pace slowing. I finally saw the tall and spindly cairn I had made earlier to mark our gear stash. I was surprised but glad to see it still standing. Abe had collected his alpine booty and thankfully, left mine.
I sat down and stuffed everything into my pack. One Nalgene bottle surprisingly wasn’t entirely frozen. The orange juice was definitely slushy and partially frozen but still drinkable. I guess sugar really does act as an anti-freeze.

I crested the summit of Mariquita Peak and continued over to the narrow ridge on the north side. I could see tracks in the hardened sections. Some prints were indeed heading back in the direction Maxwell Peak. So Abe had come this way. The descent as with De Anza Peak had taken some time due to the holes and cavities being filled in with powder snow. However, once I saw Maxwell Peak, my spirits lifted. It was the final objective along this long but easy ridge.

I made the decision to not traverse across the upper slope to retake Maxwell’s Eastern Ridge. The slope had large swaths of fresh powder snow but equally exposed sections of icy and hardened snow. Occasional rocks and talus sprinkled the slope. I was getting tired and my gait was sloppy by about this point. I didn’t want to risk an injury or fall due to inattention or weakness. So I switch-backed up to the summit of Maxwell Peak and descended the ridge in its entirety. I wasn’t out of harm’s way yet, so I needed to stay diligent. When I reached the summit of Maxwell Peak, it was nearing dusk. The last 3.7miles had taken me almost 7 hours to cover! My goal now, which had changed, was to reach my snowshoe cache before dark. This was now my only objective.

I wasn’t worried about losing the trench we made earlier yesterday. Even despite the winds, there would be enough sections still exposed to follow and link up. Once I reached the 4x4 road, I was all but guaranteed to get out of this mess. I could still make out Abe’s prints and as I later found out, Luke’s prints in the hardened snow and sections where they had wandered near small cropping’s of Evergreens. I did indeed reach my snowshoes before dark and thankfully, Abe had left them there! Blessed be! I wasted no time in taking a break. I strapped them on and kept going. The snowshoes gave me my third wind, so to speak. The last slope I needed to mitigate was avalanche prone. It was perhaps a hundred feet, so I slowly and gingerly side-stepped my way down (my snowshoes have a fairly aggressive crampon template on the bottoms).
All tracks were erased along this section but as I expected, there were the ruins of a trench near the bottom. I had actually reached the upper 4x4 trailhead, essentially the end of the road before dark. So I made better progress than I was hoping for. I was now down and walking the road to the bottom. I only had an additional 4-5 miles of switch-backing to go until I reached county road #34, then my exodus from the Colorado high-country would finally be over.

I had managed to survive an open bivy at nearly 13,000ft during a blizzard, the staggeringly-difficult mental test involved and I had overcome the physical hardships necessary to walk out under my own volition. I found the confidence that I was capable of overcoming some of the worst conditions internally, against myself and from what I was forced to endure from the wilderness. I suppose Fredrick Nietzsche was right, “What doesn’t kill you…”

Hard Lessons...

The Spanish Peaks
The Spanish Peaks
Luke and Abe weren’t there. I didn’t think they would have driven off. I figured SAR or perhaps the county sheriff told them to get a room for the night and come back in the morning…or something to that effect. So I was planning on walking the extra few miles down to hwy. 12 and hitchhiking back into La Veta or possibly Walsenburg. Turns out, there was a county sheriff waiting for me in the parking lot for North Lake (a popular fishing spot).

We drove down into Trinidad together where Abe and Luke, three paramedics and two police officers were waiting for me to unfold the events (of which, those particulars will remain between Abe, Luke & myself only). I went almost three days with little to no sleep and that night at the hotel, I still managed to sleep poorly. My body was restless but strangely, my mind quiet. The three of us drove home the following morning happy and weary that events turned out positive. However sadly, Abe and I haven’t really talked since.

I suppose the proper response to an experience like this is, at least for the majority is one of travesty, emotional disparity and perhaps even fright. I never really experienced any of this, at least not to the degree I hypothetically imagined I would. If there’s one thing I’ve learned over the last 25+ years, is that if one doesn’t respond ‘as expected’ to said (similar) events, than everyone looks at you like you’re either a crazy fool who doesn’t understand what just happened or you’ve got the inner fortitude of a block of obsidian…stoic, unmoved and unaffected. People love to pigeon-hole and label others according to how they would have responded.
Personally, I was unmoved and unaffected in the beginning. I know I had to have portrayed that image. However, my mind was just too wrapped up trying to decipher and deconstruct everything that went wrong and what went right.

How could it have been different if I had let myself be led by my emotions? What if I was overly pragmatic and analytical? Would I have frozen to death, lost in the trees if I had continued to wander instead of bunking down, staying put and waiting for better weather? I never became crippled or encapsulated by fear. Instead, reason took over and devoured the fear. I was more interested in the long-term effects of singular decisions and how I would fare.

I learned from this experience. I learned that I am capable of enduring far more than I give myself credit for. I never hit my ‘physical wall’, per se, but I was truly tested in a mental capacity. In hindsight, this was the toughest aspect. I now view this episode as a rare learning experience that I’ve actually gone through three times now and each time, I’ve come out stronger and more determined.
I’ve learned that regardless of season, I need to start packing a map and compass. Memorizing the details of a topographic map beforehand doesn’t always cut it which, I am prone to doing. I learned solidly that one very basic mantra of all backcountry travel…never separate. Paul Petzoldt's quote in the beginning I think is apt.
I found it amusing and actually, sadly predictable at how quickly others generously heaped on scorn and criticism…all in the name of concern of course.

People love to do this because while imparting disappointment and reflected knowledge, it props themselves up as beacons of experience and wisdom. This is like telling your kids to not do drugs without actually doing them yourself to know why they’re bad. To quote Tom Waits, “…they sharpen their knives on our mistakes.”

In any given situation, hiking group or climbing party, decisions must be made according to the LCD (lowest common denominator). It just so happened to be that day, on “Whiskey Pass Peak”, between Abe and myself, I was the LCD. This is a hard realization to come to terms with. I can see guilt on both sides here, mistakes that were made from both of us but at the end of the day I believe I was the one who really dropped the ball for being too willing to turn around without a consensus or solid agreement.

Emergencies don’t always have to happen on 6.000m peaks, gnarly M8 ridges or dead batteries while spelunking…they happen in our own backyards. On this trip, the ‘humble pie’ I was forced to eat, didn’t go down too well but it served a solid purpose and for that, I am grateful.


De Anza PeakMt. MaxwellNorthern Culebra RangeMy Temporary ShelterThe Spanish PeaksShelterLuke


[ Post a Comment ]
Viewing: 1-8 of 8    

Sarah SimonThat disco scene in Airplane ???

Sarah Simon

Voted 10/10

The mind works in mysterious ways, Kiefer. Thanks for sharing this experience with SP.

But don't do this shit again... ;)

Posted May 20, 2013 10:33 pm

Pete CastriconeLady Bug

Pete Castricone

Voted 10/10

Nicely written epilogue to a harrowing experience. Glad you stuck it out and made it home safely.
Posted May 21, 2013 7:48 pm

KieferRe: Lady Bug


Hasn't voted

Thanks a ton, Pete! As much as I wanted to keep walking around looking for the features I needed, I just figured the best & safest thing to do was to hunker down till the weather cleared.

I actually have a lot more written that comes after what I have posted here but it won't make sense without first reading everything that came before. So I just clipped & edited this report to make it a stand alone.
Thanks, buddy!
You back in D.C. yet?
Posted May 24, 2013 8:50 am

Pete CastriconeRe: Lady Bug

Pete Castricone

Voted 10/10

Yup, duty calls. I get back to CO every 4-6 weeks though. I'll look you up next time I'm around.
Posted May 24, 2013 7:58 pm

Brian CThanks for sharing

Brian C

Voted 10/10

This is an excellent report. Glad you made it out ok.
Posted May 22, 2013 10:55 pm

noahs213Damn dude.


Hasn't voted

Glad you we're okay. Very well written.
Posted May 24, 2013 7:59 pm

johnsonPecan Pie


Voted 10/10

Even though you told me the story I couldn't stop reading. Thanks for taking the time to document this and being willing to "bare your soul" if you will. Humble Pie is always tough to eat but you're a good man for doing so.
Posted May 25, 2013 2:41 pm

astrobassmanHappy you're OK Kiefer


Hasn't voted

Thanks for taking the time to write this up. Very well written. I particularly like the history lesson as well.
Posted May 26, 2013 7:17 pm

Viewing: 1-8 of 8