What sucks about AZ

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Andinistaloco

 
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Re: What sucks about AZ

by Andinistaloco » Sun Oct 17, 2010 3:30 am

So, two hunters from New Mexico were driving through the country to go bear hunting. They came upon a fork in the road where a sign read "BEAR LEFT"
...so they went home.

A different two New Mexican guys rent a boat and go fishing in a lake. They are amazed at the number of fish that they caught that day, so one says to
the other, "We'll have to come back here tomorrow!"
The other asks, "But how will we remember where this spot is?"
The first guy then takes a can of spray paint, paints an X on the bottom of the boat, and says, "We'll just look for this X tomorrow!"
The other guy says, "You idiot! How do you know we'll get the same boat?"

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mrchad9

 
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Re: What sucks about AZ

by mrchad9 » Sun Oct 17, 2010 6:27 am

The first guy was probably Truchas.

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Jerry L

 
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Re: What sucks about AZ

by Jerry L » Sun Oct 17, 2010 11:20 pm

Just happened upon this thread. One of the best on SP forever. Please don't stop. :D

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MoapaPk

 
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Re: What sucks about AZ

by MoapaPk » Mon Oct 18, 2010 1:01 am

New Joyzee also is spelled with a "zee."

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lcarreau

 
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Re: What sucks about AZ

by lcarreau » Mon Oct 18, 2010 1:34 am

Things you CAN'T do in Arizona :

# You may not have more than two dildos in a house.

# Any misdemeanor committed while wearing a red mask is considered a felony. This goes back in the days of the Wild West.

# There is a possible 25 years in prison for cutting down a cactus.

# When being attacked by a criminal or burglar, you may only protect yourself with the same weapon that the other person possesses.

# Hunting camels is prohibited.

# Donkeys cannot sleep in bathtubs.

# It is unlawful to refuse a person a glass of water.

8)
"Turkey Vultures always vomit when they get nervous."

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Andinistaloco

 
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Re: What sucks about AZ

by Andinistaloco » Mon Oct 18, 2010 4:02 am

lcarreau wrote:
# Hunting camels is prohibited.



Well, shit, I'm glad you told me that. There was a huge herd of camels just north of my house this morning, and I REALLY wanted to shoot one. Now I'm very glad I refrained. Is this a felony, or a misdemeanor?

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MoapaPk

 
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Re: What sucks about AZ

by MoapaPk » Mon Oct 18, 2010 4:23 am

FortMental wrote:HEY!! Where'd my buddy Eloy go?


He died before 1990. Eloy's New Mexican restaurant was about the best on the east side of Albuquerque; at one time there were 3 locations, but the one on Eubank was the best. The stuffed sopapillas were great.

Say, did you hear about the Texan who was driving N from Santa Fe, when he saw the sign for Pojoaque? He was angry about all the sissy spellings and bizarre pronunciations, so he pulled into a Burger King, and demanded that the kid at the counter pronounce the name really slowly, so he could understand. So the kid said...

"B-U-R-G-E-R K-I-N-G."

Then there were the three guys from Espanola who were on "That's Incredible!" ...

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lcarreau

 
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Re: What sucks about AZ

by lcarreau » Mon Oct 18, 2010 4:33 am

Andinistaloco wrote:
lcarreau wrote:
# Hunting camels is prohibited.



Well, shit, I'm glad you told me that. There was a huge herd of camels just north of my house this morning, and I REALLY wanted to shoot one. Now I'm very glad I refrained. Is this a felony, or a misdemeanor?


I'm completely "dumbfounded" as far as giving up an answer. Speaking of giving things up..

Image
"Turkey Vultures always vomit when they get nervous."

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Bob Sihler
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Re: What sucks about AZ

by Bob Sihler » Mon Oct 18, 2010 4:50 am

An Arizonan, a New Mexican, and a Texan were traveling together. They were lost, night came upon them, and they happened upon a farm. The owner, a generous man, agreed to put them up for the night, but he had this to say:

"I only have two extra beds, so one of you will have to sleep in the barn."

Since no one on SP is ghey, the men decided who would take the barn. The New Mexican volunteered.

A little later, there was a knock on the door. The farmer answered, and on the doorstep was the New Mexican.

"My religion forbids me to sleep under the same roof as a cow," he said.

So the Texan went out to the barn.

Soon enough, there was a knock on the door, and on the doorstep stood the Texan.

"My religion forbids me to sleep under the same roof as a pig," he said.

So the Arizonan went out to the barn.

Soon enough, there was a knock on the door, and on the doorstep stood the cow and the pig.
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Bob Sihler
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Re: What sucks about AZ

by Bob Sihler » Mon Oct 18, 2010 4:58 am

A ventriloquist gets lost and needs quarters for the night. He finds a farmhouse and knocks on the door.

The owner is a little skeptical, but the ventriloquist works his charm.

"Hello," says the cow.

"I've been plucked for down products, which equal animal cruelty, and I have the sunburn to prove it," says the goose.

The farmer's son, a little Arizonan boy named AL, whitens and says, "If that sheep says anything, she's a goddam liar!"
"Alcohol is like love. The first kiss is magic, the second is intimate, the third is routine. After that you take the girl's clothes off."

--Terry Lennox, The Long Goodbye (Raymond Chandler)

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Bob Burd
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Re: What sucks about AZ

by Bob Burd » Mon Oct 18, 2010 7:45 am

AZ - what's not to love?

Image

Image

Image

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John Duffield

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MoapaPk

 
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Re: What sucks about AZ

by MoapaPk » Mon Oct 18, 2010 9:53 am

A New Mexican met an Arizonan while hiking through the desert. The New Mexican had a big squirt bottle of water, and a towel wrapped around his head; the Arizonan was carrying a car door. The AZ guy was quite puzzled, and asked the NM guy what the water bottle and towel were for. NM replied, "when I get too hot, I spray water on the towel, and am cooled by evaporation." To this AZ guy sneered and said, "whenever I get hot, I just roll down the window."

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Andinistaloco

 
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Re: What sucks about AZ

by Andinistaloco » Wed Oct 20, 2010 11:56 pm

FortMental wrote:
Andinistaloco wrote:
lcarreau wrote:
# Hunting camels is prohibited.



Well, shit, I'm glad you told me that. There was a huge herd of camels just north of my house this morning, and I REALLY wanted to shoot one.


You Arizona bonehead, those were no camels! That was the Northern Arizona University Cheerleading Squad. What are you gonna do with a dead cheerleader, anyway? Oh let me guess.....


You New Mexico terrorists need glasses.

This is an ex-NAU cheerleader, now a Cardinals cheerleader:

Image

This is a UNM cheerleader:

Image

This is a camel:

Image

Speaking of the AZ Cardinals, how's your pro football team doing this year?

...oh, right, I forgot. :lol:

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lcarreau

 
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Re: What sucks about AZ

by lcarreau » Thu Oct 21, 2010 12:32 am

Andinistaloco wrote:
This is a camel:

Image


Geez, and I always thought camels had TWO humps!

Wait-a-minute. That might be the connection between a camel and a cheerleader!

Image

:shock:
"Turkey Vultures always vomit when they get nervous."

The following user would like to thank lcarreau for this post
Andinistaloco

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MoapaPk

 
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Re: What sucks about AZ

by MoapaPk » Thu Oct 21, 2010 12:38 am

Wow, that UNM cheerleader is hot -- looks muscular and real.

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