Teton Alcohol Research

Teton Alcohol Research

Page Type Page Type: Trip Report
Location Lat/Lon: 43.54146°N / 110.76987°W
Date Date Climbed/Hiked: Nov 30, 0000

Welch skinning up the North Ridge of Mount Blackmore, March 10, 2018
Welch skinning up the North Ridge of Mount Blackmore, March 10, 2018

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Teton Alcohol Research

By Jackson Fraser Herring

What the fuck is that noise? Where am I, who am I what is happening? I roll over and see my phone sounding its terrible chimes from the pits of hell, letting me know that its 5:30 and I better move my ass if I want to catch the early bus to work. At first I just shut off the alarm and stare into the black void above my soiled mattress, laying on the floor of my nearly bare and spartain room, surrounded by empty liquor bottles and beer cans. I run through my options in my head. I felt OK(a relative term in my case) when I passed out drunk the night before, but now my stomach feels like a wet paper bag, my head spins and feels like a vice grip, and to top it off im shaking like ive got advanced parkinsons(no offence intended, its true alcohol withdrawal makes u shake BAD). Luckily, I got so drunk the night before that I didn’t finish off all of my booze, and I still have half a 5th of fireball. Its better than nothing but wont get me much farther than the locker room without vomiting. Of course I could just call in sick again, but that would make 7 sick days in the last 3 weeks and my supervisor said”one more even if you have ebola, your fired”. Personally I don’t think he knows what ebola is but that do I know. Slowly groaning with pain and extreme effort, I sit up. Like a dying robot I go through the motions of getting dressed(showering is for normal people J). I make a very nice discovery of brandy(One pint, half full, probably left by a tourist in teton village at the bus stop). I hate brandy but its booze and I don’t have much of a choice. I still only have about 12 -15 shots of booze between both bottles. That’s about enough to kill a virginal college student, and enough to get me MAYBE to break at 10 am( a few hours away) without seizing out and puking on some rich tourist). I quetly open my bedroom door( my roomates hate me OF Course, I don’t they they knew people could drink gallons of vodka per day before they met me.) I make my way downstairs tring to make a sound on the creaky stairs. I look at the time and gulp. 6:15 am and I have 15 minutes to cover a snow and ice covered mile if I don’t want to be late(and thus fired). First things first though. I grab the bottle of fireball out of my pack and pour some knockoff dr pepper from k mart in a glass. I chug as deeply as I can from the bottle of whiskey and chase it before it has gone down my throat. I retch almost immediately (I can normally drink fireball all day but its 6 in the fucking morning. You try it) For a few DESPERSATE seconds I think I will throw up my precious booze but then my stomach stabilizes. THe familiar warmth spreads from my head to my toes. Who no’s, today might be ok? HAHAHAHAHA. No but nice wishful thinking. I grab my roomates weed pipe off the table and take a fat hit of resin(which tastes awful). No im ready to go to work. I frantically run out the door, into the dark moonless night, snow and ice twinkling off the fluorescent glow of streetlights. I run as I fast as I can in snowboots on black ice(I look like a drunken penguin but of course im not even close to drunk). I frantically check the time 6:27. FUCK!!!! I make the incredible feat of reahing into my pack with one hand pulling out the bottle and taking a shot all while running on the black ice and snow. What was that saying about walking and chewing gum again? As I sprint through the field behind kmart I fear I have already missed the bus. As I round the corner I see the miserable pack of humanity I call cowerkers huddled up slowly waiting their term to board the bus. What a bunch of squares. I hate them. Some even wait for the bus for hours in the freezing cold. People are weird. I sprint up to the bus panting like crazy, flash my badge at the functional alcoholic disgruntled middle age driver who always looks angry, and find a seat in the far back of the bus. The drive is about 25 minutes so I can crack a red bull and sneakily drink more whiskey. Its technically forbidden to drink on the bus, but after work it is not only acceptable but encouraged. Drinking before the sun has risen at 6:40 am is not however. Bunch of hypocritical narcs in my opinion. I don’t really give a fuck about anything anymore. Let them narc me out, its not like im living the high life anyways. I drink more whiskey as the drive progresses. Man this stuff does not work as well as it used to. They should put that on the warning label. I let everyone get off the bus before me and then sneak off the the bathroom near the bridger gondola. I polish off the fireball there. I continue walking up the hill and have my first smoke in front of ski patrol(which they HATE ;) Fuck them too for good measure. The cigarette tastes like shit and I flick it in the direction of patrol. I actually smoke more when im sober than drunk. Weird fact but true. Most of the guys in the lift department have arrived early so they can talk about what overpriced bar they hung out at, or the pretty girl they hooked up with. I hate them and they hate me. It’s a miracle We didn’t fight honestly. Regrets huh? Anyways I have NO friends at work and im not paying 5 dollars for a pbr when I need 20 drinks after work just to sleep for a few hours. If your wondering how I can afford this I cant. I make 10 an hour, have missed 7 days of work and owe 1,200 $ per month. You do the math. I don’t really have a plan and am existing hour to hour, drink to drink. I have this vague insane plan to self taper of a 30+ drink a day habit. Tommorow I tell myself. You will just have 25 drinks. And so on and so forth. HA sounds plausible right? Addiction can make the most delusional and batshit crazy ideas seem perfectly logical. Just as long as you get ONE more drink everything will be ok. We will figure out everything else later. Just ONE more drink and it will all magically make sense. Speaking of which its been 10 minutes since my last shot. I take a hit of brandy in the bathroom in front of the locker-room. The time is 7:15. I have been awake a little over an hour. Im over 6 drinks deep and the day has literally not even really begun. Sounds like Disneyland right? Don’t try to come visit you wouldn’t last a day. I change into my uniform in complete silence. All the other liftees glance at my unshaven, drunk red face, smelling like a brewery, and quickly look away. Im not sure if they know im an alcoholic or just think im crazy(if there is a difference). Either way they hate me and I hate them. Hate works like that. Someone hates you, you hate them. Its why we fight so many fucking wars. Hey soldier that guy hates you and America so go fucking shoot him. Hey dimitri fuck those americans lets send guns to their enemys and so on. The chrismas truce will never happen again. Anyways im the biggest fuckup in the entire department, have been kicked off of 2 upper mountain lifts and work the kiddie lift teewinot. Its my 4th season as a lift operator. I should own this fucking entire company by now. But instead I have to take shit from snot nosed little rich punks when I really and to break my empty whiskey bottle and give them a Columbian necktie. I ski to teewinots base and my supervisor bitches at me for being late. I walk away and go drink more. As I sit on the floor of the handicapped stall, I contemplate the couple fingers left of brandy in the pint. I contemplate them and then I drink them. Its 8:30 and the ski area dosent open for another half hour. I plan on buying another 5th when I go on break at 10. DO the whole stuff your uniform in your pack trick so you look like a non alcoholic tourist. If I drink that whole 5th before 4:30 so be it. It will be a marginally day. Listning to music in the top shack getting HAMMERED. When I finally have to go to the hospital, it takes 6 cops to subdue me and my blood alcohol is .575, which is supposed to kill you. Did I mention I take downers and opiates to



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McCannster

McCannster - Oct 12, 2018 9:51 am - Hasn't voted

You should seek help

Jackson, I'm not sure if this account you've written here is just you artistically spit-ballin random thoughts, or if this is truly a regular day in your life, but if it is, you should really seek out some help for your addiction. I'm sure you are aware of all this, but take it from a stranger on the internet; that amount of alcohol abuse will kill you. And if you are dead, then you cannot enjoy the mountains, which I am sure is a big reason you moved to Jackson Hole in the first place. Think back to the sheer joy and elation that being in the mountains brings to you; you'll have none of that when you are dead. Please don't become another victim to alcoholism- there are far too many people out there who suffer. I can only imagine how difficult it is to kick that habit, but just think of the decades you will squander, all the peaks you will inevitably not climb, if you do not do something about your addiction. I'm rooting for you man, do yourself a favor, get sober.

David

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