My failed attempt didn't make it beyond the kitchen table when I quickly realized the cost of required equipment and travel to the trailhead were outside my budget.
Vitaliy M. - Nov 10, 2011 5:31 pm Date Climbed: Apr 1, 2011
Hardcore
Onsight First Free Ascent of Chief Direct 5.16b A5+, WI7 No supplemental oxygen or diamox use.
RockOn - Nov 17, 2010 7:19 pm Date Climbed: Nov 10, 2008
First Family Ascent of Olympus Mons
Just got back from an amazing journey to be the first family to summit Olympus Mons together. Pretty easy all in all. Had some issues on the way, getting rocket jacked by aliens, luckily they turned out to be old hippies and were pretty absent minded so they didn't notice when we ditched them at the 7 eleven on Phobos. Supplies were pretty scarce and carrying a couple years of water on the way up was really painful. The 88,000 foot glissade on the way down was pretty cool though, as long as you don't mind the friction burns on your butt cheeks. I highly reccomend it. The views of earth are astonishing. AWESOME CLIMB!!!!
Turned back when I was only part way up, after being told that dirndl wearing serving wenches were banned on Mars.
Wasn't going to climb all that height and not get an ice cold wheat beer served by a well rounded Munich girl at the summit.
Baarb - Aug 19, 2009 6:20 am Date Climbed: Jun 10, 2009
Parched
There's no running water here, Wikipedia article apparently wrong. Decent ice-climbing in the summit caldera however. Mosquitoes pretty bad, flew off with Barry and one of our rovers later when we stopped for booze. Inter-Planetary Search and Rescue turned up after we didn't return to base on time and stuck us with a bill of 30 billion dollars. Typical. If you see Barry let us know.
Route Climbed: Straight up the side... Date Climbed: March 20, 2038
What more can I say about summiting the highest volcano in the solar system than, WOOO HOOO! I decided to go climb it for my 50th birthday and the trip was awesome! Spectacular views of the surface of Mars and the bottom of the summit crater. Climbing up the sides of the volcano was very slow going but the reduced gravity helped a bit. The damned spacesuit kept chaffing and on the decent I got the worst blisters on my feet from those uncomfortable space boots. But those were silly minor things compared to the sandstorm that we got slammed with on the ascent. We were at about 67,345 feet up on the side of Olympus Mons and this 5 mile wide sandstorm swept in and forced us to bivouac for 3 months until the sandstorm subsided. Overall the trip was amazing even though it took 4 years to complete. My next trip will take me to Venus to climb Maxwell Montes, which is 39,370 feet high.
Route Climbed: Millenium Falcon south side across the Darth Vader Glacier Date Climbed: July 31, 2005
Over 88,000 feet, but not that difficult really. Just a big slog to the top. The main problem was that I forgot my sunscreen back on earth so all of my skin burned off from a massive solar flare that came raging down on us about 62,000 feet up. Was pretty intense! Other than that, no big deal! Lots of little green life forms begging for money at the base area, though. Kind of sad. Poverty on Mars is pretty bad I guess. Watch out crossing the Darth Vader Glacier--lots of huge crevasses! I fell into one that was estimated to be 5 miles deep! Luckily I was roped in, though. Base area was like a scene out of Star Wars or something! Pretty wild! Definitely on my top 10 climbs list!
Sorry I don't have any pics! They were stolen out of my hotel room after we were finished! Gosh darned aliens!
Route Climbed: Zeus Direct Route Date Climbed: 18 January 2004
Summitted via the Zeus direct route (5.12) without oxygen. Solar winds were a real pain in the butt. My first 88'er. Thank God for diamox, I would have never made it. Couldn't understand a single word the porters were saying but they were quite friendly. Great views from the summit; make sure you bring your sunglasses.
Joseph Bullough - Aug 4, 2022 6:51 am
Failed attemptMy failed attempt didn't make it beyond the kitchen table when I quickly realized the cost of required equipment and travel to the trailhead were outside my budget.
Vitaliy M. - Nov 10, 2011 5:31 pm Date Climbed: Apr 1, 2011
HardcoreOnsight First Free Ascent of Chief Direct 5.16b A5+, WI7 No supplemental oxygen or diamox use.
RockOn - Nov 17, 2010 7:19 pm Date Climbed: Nov 10, 2008
First Family Ascent of Olympus MonsJust got back from an amazing journey to be the first family to summit Olympus Mons together. Pretty easy all in all. Had some issues on the way, getting rocket jacked by aliens, luckily they turned out to be old hippies and were pretty absent minded so they didn't notice when we ditched them at the 7 eleven on Phobos. Supplies were pretty scarce and carrying a couple years of water on the way up was really painful. The 88,000 foot glissade on the way down was pretty cool though, as long as you don't mind the friction burns on your butt cheeks. I highly reccomend it. The views of earth are astonishing. AWESOME CLIMB!!!!
Big Benn - Apr 9, 2010 12:22 pm
Big MistakeTurned back when I was only part way up, after being told that dirndl wearing serving wenches were banned on Mars.
Wasn't going to climb all that height and not get an ice cold wheat beer served by a well rounded Munich girl at the summit.
Baarb - Aug 19, 2009 6:20 am Date Climbed: Jun 10, 2009
ParchedThere's no running water here, Wikipedia article apparently wrong. Decent ice-climbing in the summit caldera however. Mosquitoes pretty bad, flew off with Barry and one of our rovers later when we stopped for booze. Inter-Planetary Search and Rescue turned up after we didn't return to base on time and stuck us with a bill of 30 billion dollars. Typical. If you see Barry let us know.
Smith93 - Jan 4, 2006 1:22 am
Route Climbed: Straight up the side... Date Climbed: March 20, 2038What more can I say about summiting the highest volcano in the solar system than, WOOO HOOO! I decided to go climb it for my 50th birthday and the trip was awesome! Spectacular views of the surface of Mars and the bottom of the summit crater. Climbing up the sides of the volcano was very slow going but the reduced gravity helped a bit. The damned spacesuit kept chaffing and on the decent I got the worst blisters on my feet from those uncomfortable space boots. But those were silly minor things compared to the sandstorm that we got slammed with on the ascent. We were at about 67,345 feet up on the side of Olympus Mons and this 5 mile wide sandstorm swept in and forced us to bivouac for 3 months until the sandstorm subsided. Overall the trip was amazing even though it took 4 years to complete. My next trip will take me to Venus to climb Maxwell Montes, which is 39,370 feet high.
rockhead99 - Aug 15, 2005 12:48 pm
Route Climbed: Millenium Falcon south side across the Darth Vader Glacier Date Climbed: July 31, 2005Over 88,000 feet, but not that difficult really. Just a big slog to the top. The main problem was that I forgot my sunscreen back on earth so all of my skin burned off from a massive solar flare that came raging down on us about 62,000 feet up. Was pretty intense! Other than that, no big deal! Lots of little green life forms begging for money at the base area, though. Kind of sad. Poverty on Mars is pretty bad I guess. Watch out crossing the Darth Vader Glacier--lots of huge crevasses! I fell into one that was estimated to be 5 miles deep! Luckily I was roped in, though. Base area was like a scene out of Star Wars or something! Pretty wild! Definitely on my top 10 climbs list!
Sorry I don't have any pics! They were stolen out of my hotel room after we were finished! Gosh darned aliens!
Mgross - Jan 19, 2004 4:10 pm
Route Climbed: Zeus Direct Route Date Climbed: 18 January 2004Summitted via the Zeus direct route (5.12) without oxygen. Solar winds were a real pain in the butt. My first 88'er. Thank God for diamox, I would have never made it. Couldn't understand a single word the porters were saying but they were quite friendly. Great views from the summit; make sure you bring your sunglasses.