1) Mountains are wonderful, including the 8000ers
2) Altitude is a drug, the higher you climb the higher you get
3) The feeling up there is extraordinary
4) The views up there are extraordinary
5) The physical effort is a great challenge
And let me disagree at the same time of some of the points you mentioned:
1) Food: food can be excellent, and you may be always hungry. The proof: I took 3kg on my last expedition!
2) Money: Go to Pakistan on a self organised expedition (or go to Nepal/Tibet on a permit share and carry your own stuff), and it will for sure cost much less than a guided trip of a similar duration in a western country.
3) Cold. Just put on one more cloth layer, and you'll be fine (OK, feet and hands apart...). If it's too hot at your beach resort, you simply can't remove more clothes once you have already taken everything off.
4) Other people. Solo climb if you don't like people, avoid Everest or go off season, and you'll be fine. Personally, I mostly met nice people up there.
5) Pooping. I enjoyed so much the latrines while climbing in Nepal. They are luxurious and extremely hygienic compared to what we have here on the northern side of the Himalaya. And what is nicer than pooping in a plastic bag at 8000m? No smell, no leakage from the bag as it instantaneously freezes.
Anyway, who is going on an expedition for the food or the comfort of the latrines? I guess it should be about the mountains.
So, as you say, see you on the hill!
Why go guided?! Self organize and plan your own trip. Be own boss!
While I applaud your very sensible and accurate comments on high altitude mountaineering, I wasn't expecting a "real" debate on this article. It is written firmly with the tongue in cheek. I was trying to use humor to honor the effort that all climbers expend when climbing above 8000m. I am presuming that you are very familiar with the struggles and hardships that we face when we climb very high. I think it is amazing that all these hardships are faced and overcome individually. You may love the food, but I know its a real problem for some. You may have the experience to organize your own expeditions, but most do not.
I would like readers that want to comment to applaud the efforts of climbers and honor them by finding other things about 8000m climbing that we can make fun of, such as technology on the mountains or bad gear.
Lets all not get too serious, this article is supposed to make you smile knowingly and wryly.