Page Type Page Type: Trip Report
Location Lat/Lon: 37.94355°N / 108.85781°W
Date Date Climbed/Hiked: Mar 25, 2020
Activities Activities: Mountaineering, Trad Climbing
Seasons Season: Winter

A 1-Day Indoor Ascent of Mt. Kitchen


Mt. Kitchen, 5.9+ V7-III = 5.Fun

Climber: Brad/Tracy

Photographer and Author: Tracy

Date: Pandemic

This is Brad.  He loves to climb rocks and mountains and spy on wildlife.  That’s literally all the guy does.  He decided to climb inside during the pandemic of 2020 and he brought me along to tell you how much fun it was.





Along the approach to Mt. Kitchen Brad reached the first obstacle, the Toaster Boulder V7.  It’s a lowball for sure but the crux is electrifying, hence the V7 rating. Here’s Brad inching towards the shocking crux with his left hand.  He sent it in style with his Black Diamond harness on backwards.


Toaster Boulder V7



Then the second obstacle. No rating, just dirty.


Dirty Obstacle



While he waited for me to catch up, I caught him lounging around without a clue that a moose was right behind him.





He did however notice the bear.  Do not pet the bear!!!





Then a coyote walked by while the bear lurked. Brad was in wildlife spying heaven.





On to the climbing. Things got real quick!  Brad grunted a lot on the Stove Pitch.


Grunt Grunt



But he got a pink Tricam in so everything was fine.  It’s not every day that you get to place a pink Tricam.


Pink Tricam



At the belay ledge he made a new friend.  Such a cheeseball.  You can see the Blender Pitch in the background.  It’s an inverted off-width.  





The Blender Pitch.  I was dreading it but he was fueled with testosterone or something.  He sent it and kept yelling, “Take that Pamela Shanti Pack!”. <insert meat grinder sounds>

He doesn’t look happy but said he really was.


<Insert Blender Sounds>



This was my favorite pitch ever, the Microwave Handle Pitch.  It was kind of like Sister Squeeze before she…you know. RIP.  We also met the Russians here.  They hated chimneys so they opted for the face.  I love this shot of Boris on the face and Brad in the Chimney.  Bliss!





Inside Microwave Pitch. He hated it.  He didn’t know how to jam his hands in the tiny monos. I laughed.


Pokey Jamming



Microwave Ledge Pitch. He was extra giddy up here.  I'm not sure why. He was Honnolding all over the route.  When I met him on the ledge, he was like, “Did you see what I was doing? I’ve loved that guy Alex since he soloed Moonlight Buttress. I'm just like Alex now!!"





Brad posing with his best “friend” on the chair pitch.  Cheesing as usual.


3.5 Friend



Refrigerator Pitch 1. Perfect #2 splitter.  The smile says it all.






Fun on Refrigerator Pitch 2.  The  showoff kept squeeling, " Look at me! Dan Osmon in the hizzie!!!!!!"





The feet on the 3rd pitch of the Refrigerator were excellent. See the exposure?





On the summit cheering on the Russians.  You can see the “easy” blender pitch below. 


Go Russians Go!











Gazing at Longs and Pagoda from the summit.


Longs and Pagoda





New friends around the fire.  Brad’s telling everyone about the splitter on the Fridge and how happy he is that we stayed in during the pandemic.


Story Time


He’s so happy.  Climbing indoors  can befun!


The End



The End




Post a Comment
Viewing: 1-2 of 2

chris_goulet - Mar 25, 2020 8:52 pm - Voted 10/10

Good laugh in this sad time

Thanks! much appreciated.

Chris Goulet

Foxy Long Bottoms

Foxy Long Bottoms - Mar 26, 2020 6:44 pm - Hasn't voted

Re: Good laugh in this sad time

I’m really glad it made you laugh!

Viewing: 1-2 of 2