Cirque of the Climbables, 5.4-5.11c

Overview/Approach

Cirque of the Climbables is an attempt at humor relating to the infamous Cirque of the Unclimbables located in the remote Nahanni National Park Reserve,  Northwest Territories of Canada.  The only thing the two have in common is that they are both rarely climbed.  This destination involves two (separated) rows of towers on the front southern slope leading up to Queen Mountain.  Most anyone found hiking up this slope is on their way to Walt’s Rocks seeking more popular climbs (Perfect Fingers, 5.10a****) on Queen Mountain versus this collection of misfits.  The right-side row of shorter towers is located just west and near the top of the climbers switch back trail to the more popular destination on top.  The left-side collection of these towers (separated) is comprised of more prominent towers featuring better and taller climbs.  I did find several gems on this left side.

The best climb of this left-side group is That’s Powell, Not Rowell, 5.10a*.  It is an east facing arching hands splitter located in a chimney formed by two of the towers.  It does have an issue in that you must climb through a death block to reach the upper arete portion.  If it were limestone or sandstone, I would not yard on this block.  The tower Powell climbs up is the most independent tower of the group, truly separated from the sides and rear which makes getting off its small square summit not for the faint of heart.  I stemmed across to the east tower from the summit of this tower (exposure) and then descended the chimney between the two.  To the far left of this left group is more of a formation than tower.  On its west face, last climb to the west, is Glue Rhymes with Poo, 5.10a*.  This is a tall multi-faceted climb that keeps your attention at the grade most of the way.  This left side group will have few bolts and zero anchors (2019) involving scrambles or walk offs regardless of which feature you climb.  The right-side group does contain more fixed hardware and features only four routes published in the local guide (2019).  Although Miramontes suggests this destination is west facing, in reality most routes face south and gain good sun exposure.

Park as you would for the trail up to the main climbing area of Queen Mountain (Walt’s Rocks).  That means taking Bighorn Pass Road from Intersection Rock and continue as the pavement turns to sand.  You come to a Y in the road, the left of which is marked with a “do not enter” one-way sign.  The latest local guide (2019) does not spell that out.  If you are a desperado, you will take the left fork anyway.  If a good rule follower, you will take the right fork. Either way you will be heading east where you eventually come to a perpendicular road.  Turn left and head north for the formal trail head parking for Queen Mountain.  From the parking area, you can hike around the formation directly to the north, circumventing either end.  The left end might be a bit longer but follows an old mine road.  The right end is a bit more direct but off trial.  Either way, circumvent this hill and find a wash that heads due north.  Follow the cairns up on the left bank which lead to a relatively steep climbers switch back trail up the south facing hill that is the base of Queen Mountain.  The granite tower like features you see high on the hill is the right end grouping of the Cirque of the Climbables.  When level with this group of short granite features, traverse west below them and continue circumventing the hill side, staying level, to locate the taller, more aesthetic towers to the west.  This left-end grouping offers the better climbs of the Cirque.  On descent from this left end, it is easier to just descend the natural gully straight back down to the base of the hill.

Routes Listed Right to Left, as Approached

Right Side Towers/Formations

Peer Pressure- 40’-5.10c*/

Christmas Tree Arete- 60’-5.10c*/ To reach the right side of the Cirque from the main climbing area, traverse a middle ledge east.  This tower is difficult to locate right away and the local guide has no solid directions or photo of it as of 2024.  It is a dark colored tower with a tree at the base of its southeast arete, thus the name.  It climbs the steep arete directly above the tree with the crux mostly right off the deck, through two bolts.   There is a down sloping hand hold on the right side that involves the crux move.  Besides that it is fairly positive but sustained in steepness and movement.  The grade eases up to more 510a through one more bolt to the top.  You can set a TR with small gear and extension from the summit.  Route gets sun most all day.  Dow

Red Crack- 50’-5.10b*/

Fun for the Whole Family- 50’-5.4/

Left Side Towers/Formations- Right End

Macho Combo- 45’-5.11c*/

Reo Momo- 40’-5.10b/

Slap and Tickle- 45’-5.10b/

Pleasure Principle- 70’-5.8*/ Miramontes has the length of most of these routes way short.  This route faces southwest and stays shaded until after noon.  An obvious crack splitting a west facing varnished face to the east of the singular and obvious middle tower.  Mostly hands.  Single rack to C4#2.  Bring the 2nd up (gear anchor), too much friction for a top rope.  Scramble down back and descend the steep gully shared with the singular tower.  Dow

Left Side’s Middle Tower

That’s Powell, Not Rowell- 75’-5.10a*/ Much taller than what the guide suggests.  A fun true crack line that climbs through a precarious block.  It starts on the east face of the singular tower.  Mostly hands to the block.  Then you have to trust the block as you jam up its left side and traverse left to the arête with a short finger crack.  Continue up the arête below grade to the summit of the tower.  You can sling a block on top for a top rope.  The descent off of this tower involves an exposed stem to the next tower to the east.  Then cut back west behind that tower to descend the steep gully between the two.  Single rack to C4 #4.  Dow

Labyrinth- 50’-5.10a/ A contrived route on the west face (but mostly shaded) rising out of the steep gully on the left side of the singular tower.  Face climb through two bolts to the top of the tower via bad rock.  The descent off of this tower involves an exposed stem to the next tower to the east.  Dow

Left Side’s Left Tower

Treasure of the Sierra Madre- 60’-5.10d**/ (bolted arete route)

Pagan Holiday- 80’-5.9/ An obvious crack line up the middle of the face of the wall to the left of the singular tower.  The crack section has some wide moves and offers decent, well protected, climbing until mid-height, and then below the grade jug climbing, somewhat run out to the top.  Medium gear belay.  Scramble down the steep gully to climbers right.  Single rack to C4 #4.   Dow

Left Side’s Largest Feature- Far Left

Remain in Light- 115’- 5.10a*/ Another good arete climb on these towers.  The next arete to the right of the arete named Soup Rhymes with Poop.   It climbs the right side arete of the white colored wall.  Interestingly enough, this is another 115’ arete climb that the Miramontes guide has listed as much shorter (60’). The stone, although white in color, is considerably more solid than the Soup Ryhmes with Poop arete (which features more varnished rock).  Two bolts exist on the route and gear is sparse from there.  Like Soup, carrying some wires and micro cams will be helpful, a single to #.75.  If you want to TR it, you will need to save some rps and a #.5 or #.75 for the anchor on top of this tower as well as climb with a 70m rope.  Same walk off as for Soup.  Route gets sun all day.  Dow

Mommy Dearest- 100’-5.8/ The obvious large left facing corner with some vegetation.   A worthy climb for novice trad leaders to work on their wide skills, however one would need a head for chossy rock.  Single rack to C4 #4.   A decent block to sling near the top for a top rope.   Dow

Soup Rhymes with Poop- 115’-5.8*/ If not for the poor rock quality, this would be an outstanding climb at the grade.  It is both long and interesting as it meanders up the arete.  The local guide has it at 80’ but it is 115’.  Start by traversing in from the right from the same rope up spot as Mommy Dearest and Soup Rhymes with Poop.  The crux is the first 50’ through suspect rock on the steep arete.  From there the rock gets better whilst the arete gets less steep.  Single to #.75 with wires, micros and off sets particularly if you want to set up a TR which would require a 70m rope.  The walk off is climbers right down the shared gully with the tower that contains the Labyrinth (to the east).   A few easy 5^th class chimney moves are required, but this descent essentially returns you to the rope up area.  Route gets sun all day.  Dow

Glue Rhymes with Poo- 125’-5.10a*/ This is the best route, respective for its grade, that I have climbed at the Cirque of the Climbables to date.   It is much taller than the Miramontes latest edition has it listed (80’) which is typical of the poor beta published for this area as of 2019.   It follows an intermittent crack system on the southwest face (left side) of this formation.  The first crack offers the first crux at the grade.  A steep finger/hand varnished crack with suspect rock around it.   Pull through this section (good pro) and continue up another steep crack section above.  Trend up and right via a few steep and exposed face moves below the grade and then either finish on the easier wide crack up and right or take on the more challenging finger crack up and left.  Place small to medium gear in a horizontal crack at the top for a gear belay.  You can top rope it for the 2nd with a 70m rope if the 2nd starts climbing for the final 20’ of the leader being lowered.  Walk off climbers left.  To avoid a snag on the heavily featured wall, coil the rope up and walk off with it.   Single rack to C4 #3, with a few extra medium pieces and wires or offset cams.  Good movement from bottom to top and this would be a classic if it was road side and cleaned up.  Full afternoon sun.  Dow