the bizarre transporter accident that mutated your hands into those three-toed webbed duckfeet. You must get kidded all the time about that. Just remember, it's inside you that is what counts, man. Hang in there and join a support group or something.
"After the first glass, you see things as you wish they were. After the second, you see things as they are not. Finally, you see things as they really are, which is the most horrible thing in the world."
--Oscar Wilde on Absinthe