I'm in a funk.
This has happened before about 12 years ago. I somehow get into this mental state, like my head is full of peanut butter and I simply cannot decide or make up my mind
what peaks to climb, trails to hike or whether or not climb at the local crags. It's not typically long after, that I lose all motivation and go home, scrapping the day.
The first time, this lasted almost 2 years.

Recently, just a few days ago, my girlfriend and I took a friend on an easy hike to Signal Mountain. He ended up turning around due to reasons associated with his dog.
Steph and I continued another mile or so snowshoeing through some wet, gloppy, generally unpleasent snow before I lost interest and we also, turned around.

Reason I'm typing this and posting it here on Summitpost is because with the sheer amount of ability and experience with members on this site, someone is bound
to know what I'm going through. I'm not looking for 'help' per se, but something more in line with advice or personal examples of the same problem and what you
did to counteract and solve it.

I am starting back to school after a 5-yr hiatus and it's something I'm pretty serious about. I've concluded that after years of living in the mountains, that guiding and outdoor
occupations won't give me the income or life I want. It's hard to pay the mortage/car payments/food with philosophical insights and epiphanies. So I know without a doubt that
this is adding to my current slump or depression...whatever.

I've seen this same question often posed on other sites under similar guises, usually more philosophically geared, but I've ALWAYS lived things in the moment (seriously) and have never really
been on this side of the coin before. I'd be full of shit if I didn't say it wasn't frustrating as all hell. It feels like I'm fighting something that I can't define, label or see.

So...has anyone here ever experienced this or gone through similar situations? That is, no motivation, no interest, apathy reigning supreme...
If so, I'd love to hear what [you] did to overcome it and move on past it.
Thanks, guys.
Kiefer

I have been in your shoes before. What generally happens to me is I get in the funk and then I go on hike or climb that really just stokes me out. After that I usually come out of it. I guess for me, I just have to keep doing it. It isn't a big deal to decide you just want to turn around. Eventually you will decide to just keep going.

Well, I havent run into anything particularly long lasting but I do get in temporary funks every springtime. I'm out of shape in the spring and the snow slows me down and I just dont like climbing anything with over 1000' elevation gain. So lately I've been taking some friends along who dont really have any climbing experience and drag them up to a summit. I guess the excitement they get out of accomplishing something new helps me push through the doldrums of climbing just another mountain.

Yeah, what twoshuzz said, slow down and enjoy the journey. I saw an unusual flower today coming down from Palisades Mountain when I stopped the car to check out a waterfall along the road. I usually blow right past those kinds of things in my rush to go home, but I stopped for the hell of it. And I guess seeing a flower made it worth the 2 minutes I took out of my very, very busy schedule.

(Not to mention, climbing Signal Mountain from Bulwark Ridge was a pain in the ass when I did it last May, and I couldn't even make it all the way. Its easy to get depressed on that mountain! I got stuck in the drifts .75 miles from the summit somewhere in the trees and the only view I got was S Signal within striking distance, just waiting for me. Usually when I climb nearly 3000 feet and 5 miles I make it to the damn summit, no matter what that entails. That was the first time I'd ever turned around after making it that far. If climbing is what you love, dont give up on it! I will return to the Signals in a few weeks to finish what I started)

Hey Kiefer,

Well, first of all, I tend to get some sort of funk / antsiness in the Springtime in general. Just some soft of seasonal flux, I guess, what the old timers would call Spring Fever.

Overall, in some ways, I'm in the polar opposite position you are in, but our challenges are nonetheless quite similar. I am in the situation of being dreadfully burned out with my career. Increasingly, I find myself resentful toward my career because it takes me away from my true passion, the mountains. I've been wondering if I have the courage to make a drastic change (I don't right now...) but I sure do daydream a lot about down shifting to a career that doesn't demand so much time and energy (and dreadful business travel) and exploring ways I could reapply my abilities to a non-desk-bound career that doesn't make me feel dead by Friday.

I find mountaineers, overall, tend to be very driven, type-A, go-getter types. As such, it's not surprising many of us want to have it all: Trad rock, coulior climbs, overseas big peaks, long-trails, coveted list completions, whatever...add to that family, career, kids, community involvement, volunteer time, taking care of aging parents, etc.. When push comes to shove, NO ONE can "do it all" and we'll only drive ourselves insane trying. We need to prioritize and focus on the items that come out on top. No one else can tell you, me, or anyone else what is / should be important. That is for the individual to decide.

In the barest essence, we have two plain options: Change or the status quo. What has helped me is documenting, then quantifying, the benefits of my current situation. What precisely do I enjoy right now as a result of the status quo and, on a scale of 1-10, how important are these things to me. In other words, I've put some concrete weight behind what I would sacrifice if I were to step off my high-speed career treadmill and either a) focus on the mountains or b) at least down-shift. This exercise helped to shine a bright light on the positives of my current situation, because for me, if I focus only on the "what ifs" of making a change, I am focusing on opportunity losses, not necessarily on real, concrete sacrifices that change would entail.

Maybe for you, "current situation pluses would include":

• Time/opportunity to develop a high level of alpine skills
• More free time than white collar desk jockeys (for instance)
• A schedule more compatible with your favorite climbing partners
• The love of a woman who shares your passion for the high country
• The joy of helping clients (as a guide) stretch their limits

...and so on...

In the end, I hope you find some peace and find a place, a solution, that works for you. I assure you you're not alone, that a lot of us struggle each week to find a balance we can be more than content with.

Also, remember the grass always looks greener on the other side of the fence. But ask yourself why...it could be because that's where the dogs are always shitting.

Good luck on your journey!

I'm not a mathematician or whiz kid, but this song pretty well SUMS it up for me ...

"I deal in dreamers,
And telephone screamers ..
Lately I wonder what I do it for;
If l had my way,
I'd just walk OUT through those doors.

And wander,
Down the Champs Elysees ..
Going cafe to cabaret,
Thinking how I'll feel when I find
That very good friend of mine ..."

Take a break. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. I think that sometimes you need to let a funk be a funk. It's usually not a good idea to wallow in it for too long, but everything in the universe needs to run its course. It's perfectly normal to feel that way from time to time…

Kiefer Thomas wrote:
I am starting back to school after a 5-yr hiatus and it's something I'm pretty serious about. I've concluded that after years of living in the mountains, that guiding and outdoor
occupations won't give me the income or life I want. It's hard to pay the mortage/car payments/food with philosophical insights and epiphanies. So I know without a doubt that
this is adding to my current slump or depression...whatever.

I'd be full of shit if I didn't say it wasn't frustrating as all hell. It feels like I'm fighting something that I can't define, label or see.

In a similar situation, I'm not sure how to solve the issue either. Sounds a bit tough. I Do find that my emotions are cause by one of two things: my passions (being fulfilled or not), and my activity level. Blood to the brain seems to affect my mental game. Just cry it out, and dress metro-sexual, and ride a single speed, and everything will be fine...

Perhaps, Sarah's point is one of the most important. Make your want to do something about your situation/mental space concrete and fathomable by making lists.

Another thing is to match our beliefs with reality. e.g. If I believe my gf should love me, and she walks into the room and says "I love you," I'll be happy. If I believe my gf should love me, and she comes into the room and punches me and says "I never want to see you again," I'll be unhappy. Either way my belief is that 'she should love me.' A key to positivity is to get our beliefs (aka our "shoulds") to match reality. in this case , I could change my should/belief to "She could love me" or "I can take care of myself, whether she loves me or not."

In your case, what beliefs do you have that you can change to fit what reality is presenting you with. Cuz you cant' change people, your school, or much of your reality. What can you change? and What beliefs can you change.

This helps me nearly daily. Peace and Take Care.

I regularly go through periods of motivational loss.

I quit fighting it a long time ago. If I have lost interest or motivation -- then I have lost interest or motivation. I move on, and do something else that does motivate me.

Several years ago I lost interest in whitewater kayaking. After a few years, the motivation never returned. I sold off all my boats and gave it up. No regrets.

I personally think it's important that I differentiate between what motivates me directly and what motivates me because I want to keep up with my friends. I was never really into mountain biking, but I did it for many years because all of my friends were into mountain biking. I did the Slick Rock Trail dozens of times, Porcupine Rim, biked all over Colorado and Utah, etc. I had very poor motivation go into the hills alone to train. Finally I was true to myself and gave it up. Me happy camper now.

It's also important for me to differentiate between a loss of interest/motivation, and a medical condition such as depression. Whenever I find myself with a loss of interest or motivation, I am careful to look at other things in my life to decide whether I should just find a new activity that interests me, or go see a doctor for an antidepressant.

I sometimes allow my motivation to get killed by being too ambitious. I end up with some big goals, then can't see any realistic way to accomplish them. Then doing smaller things seems "unimportant" or a waste of time. I have to let go of the ambition and try to live in the now, doing some humble hikes unworthy of such a big strong guy like myself. Somewhere in there, I rediscover why I went to the woods in the first place, and equilibrium is restored.

Anyway, you were right to turn around that day with your girlfriend. Sloppy spring snowshoeing sucks. Better to come back to town, eat some Mex'can food and go see a movie with yer gal. Laugh at yourself regularly.

What ? There's folks out there who don't know how to laugh at themselves ???

There's a lot at stake here. Time is very short. LAUGH AT YOURSELF, no matter where life takes you.

Thanks a ton for all the insights.
It's funny how in our pursuits for the crags, routes or big lines etc. having fun gets overlooked. Maybe it gets sidelined by all those bloody lists.
I seriously hadn't thought about changing myself in order to change with my situation. Getting stuck and pinning over what I'm loosing is all that
I could seem to focus on.
But what some of you have said, focus on what will be, not on what you're loosing really makes a lot of sense. It's elementary now but back then,
it seemed futile. I've asked a few of my friends with kids/families this question and they seem to have adjusted just fine to the 'new digs'. Minus the upstart
grumbles of a new situation of course. Hell, one of em' is the head of radiology at Children's Hospital in Denver and he seems to be getting out just fine.
I've enjoyed this [long] chapter of my life for so long, I've been afraid to turn the page and leave it.

Guys, thanks a ton. This actually does help me out.

mvs wrote: Sloppy spring snowshoeing sucks. Better to come back to town, eat some Mex'can food and go see a movie with yer gal. Laugh at yourself regularly.

I couldn't agree more!

Sierra Ledge Rat wrote:I personally think it's important that I differentiate between what motivates me directly and what motivates me because I want to keep up with my friends. I was never really into mountain biking, but I did it for many years because all of my friends were into mountain biking. I did the Slick Rock Trail dozens of times, Porcupine Rim, biked all over Colorado and Utah, etc. I had very poor motivation go into the hills alone to train. Finally I was true to myself and gave it up. Me happy camper now.

I ran through the same thing with mountain biking. I was never any good at the downhill but my friends struggled to keep up with me on the uphill sections. I had a great time in some locals: Slickrock, Porc. Rim, Fruita but like you said...I gave up the ghost and that chapter is closed. I had to chuckle when I read your post!

Living as far away from the good mountains as I do prevents me from any burnout whatsoever. I'm not sure I'd prescribe such a remedy, though.