And Now for the Evening's Entertainment
(warning: Climber Humor)
..but first, we must set the stage: a long slow Xmas shopping day with the Otherwise Awesome Girlfriend unfolds into a frenzied nightmare of glue-on Holiday Cheer and crushed hopes of Sneaking Off to the Crag. Later, relaxing (manfully) in the tub with some of those nice fizzie things that soften climber's skin. Or something. That's unimportant. But i'm sure Black Diamond makes them and Mike Libecki used them on that solo in Antarctica. Anyway..
Enter the GF. “Have you seen my collander?”
“Collander?” He replies from the impregnable warm fastness of the tub.
“Yeah. You know, <a href="http://www.gatiexports.com/pcat-gifs/products-small/ss-rice-collander-with-ss-h.jpg">that stainless steel thing with all the holes in it used for straining vegetables and stuff"</a>
Enter Little Devil on My Shoulder.
(With straight face) “Uh-oh..,” he mumbles.
Her: “What do you mean, 'Uh-Oh'?”
Him: “I think we left those on Shasta last weekend.”
“You what?”
(He mumbles some more, desperately holding poker face in place) “I'm pretty sure we left those on Shasta.”
Her, with mounting (and very real) anger: “WTF did you take them to Mount Shasta for?!”
“Well, you have to rappel off of something, and I thought they were way cheaper than snow pickets.”
Her, dumbfounded, yet furious: “And you leave them?!”
“Well yeah, you bury them in the snow and equalize an anchor off of the handles on either side and rap. But – obviously – you gotta leave 'em.” (pretty good visual, eh? Still trying to decide if I would trust that in a pinch...)
Her (genuinely shouting – very unusual, for the record): “JHF**ingC! And you took all of them?”
“Well, you need a good selection of differet sizes on your rack depending on the snow conditions. I'm really sorry; I'll get you some new ones tomorrow, I swear. Honest, I didn't think you'd mind..”
Sadly, at this point, I totally lost it as the visual of various collanders arranged around my harness took form, and I burst out laughing and divulged the collanders' actual whereabouts in an obscure corner cabinet of the kitchen.
Her: “Oh. My. God!”..and storms off as he squeals like a little pig in the tub at his own cleverness. Sadly for Our Hero, he was laughing so hard his eyes were squeezed shut and so he completely missed the Evil and Vindictive but Otherwise Awesome Girlfriend's simultaeneously emptying a tray of ice cubes onto his tummy and then turning on the shower full blast (cold, naturally.)
Anyway, here in Celebate for the Evening Land, thought I would share the beta of my adventure ('Collander' II, 5.8 A0)
