The Politics of Man and Woman

Minimally moderated forum for climbing related hearsay, misinformation, and lies.
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lcarreau

 
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by lcarreau » Sun Oct 18, 2009 4:57 am

Haliku wrote:
Can it be too many TV shows and celeb magazine planting the thought that cheating is the most common issue in our society?



+100

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Bob Sihler
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by Bob Sihler » Sun Oct 18, 2009 5:07 am

thoth wrote:
radson wrote:I like MoapaPk's answer the best. He asked his partner, sensed some discomfort and bailed. To me this shows respect and empathy rather than belligerent sanctimony.

+1


Yup. Totally the right thing to do and, I am glad to say, what I would do. I would tell my wife and see how she reacted, and go from there.

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Kiefer

 
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by Kiefer » Sun Oct 18, 2009 5:27 am

The Chief wrote:I am happily married to the most wonderful woman on this planet!

She has no qualms with me climbing with another women. She trust me and knows I would never break our vows. I love her too much for even considering that. I have had several female clients and have had no issues.

Besides, when I go climbing, sexual/social relationships considerations are/have are NEVER in the plans.

I'm too busy focusing on the climb...period!


Amen!
If you're sig. other can't trust you to that degree then how in the hell would one expect a relationship over the long run to work?
Have people gotten so selfish and insecure that trust and respect no longer factor into a relationship? No wonder quacks like Dr. Phil & Oprah are profiteering off people now-a-days.
My girl and myself who do climb & scramble, mainly alpine, have no problem with the other heading out to the crags or to a mountain with another of the opposite sex.
We're completely comfortable with who we are, 100% implicitly 'into' the other and have tacit trust & respect for each other.
It's NOT even an issue. 'Bout as important as asking what's for dinner.

Shit. People need to wake the fuck up & realize jealousy is a really nasty emotion & have some faith in their S.O. for a change.

Haliku wrote:An interesting thread. In my opinion it is trust and communication between the couple. Sometimes that equilibrium is never reached. There were 'plenty' (~10%) of women on Denali this past season. For the wife/GF at home that could be a tough concept to accept, especially if they really don't understand mountaineering/climbing etc. Could something happen? Sure. Nothing is 100%. It’s usually not about the person going off climbing but is the insecurity/baggage of the one who is home worrying.

Can it be too many TV shows and celeb magazine planting the thought that cheating is the most common issue in our society?


Really good point.
Steph and myself would rather see the other one of us get out even if the other can't make it.

Icarreau wrote:If I didn't trust my spouse, then I wouldn't be married to her.

Truer words were never typed! :wink:

Bob Sihler wrote:
thoth wrote:
radson wrote:I like MoapaPk's answer the best. He asked his partner, sensed some discomfort and bailed. To me this shows respect and empathy rather than belligerent sanctimony.

+1


Yup. Totally the right thing to do and, I am glad to say, what I would do. I would tell my wife and see how she reacted, and go from there.


This is a really good alternative point to the arguement and despite what I typed, I do agree with this.

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JJ

 
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by JJ » Sun Oct 18, 2009 6:52 am

Everybody should just become swingers....lol

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silversummit

 
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by silversummit » Sun Oct 18, 2009 9:34 pm

Trust is definitely the key word here. Since my high school days I have almost always been in the minority or the lone female in the group. My boyfriend (and now husband of many years) has never raised a jealous question or concern. Planning my bigger trips has often required long evening sessions at a male colleague's house but even then, no problem! I have always been open about trips etc. and when the opportunity comes, I introduce male hiking friends etc. to my husband. He knows we may all be sharing the same cabin or large tent or whatever. He also know that, just like many here on SP, I cannot survive if I don't get outdoors and do the things I love which also happen to be things he doesn't enjoy or can't do. The guys I hike with are often in an organized group so that helps their wives understand but sometimes even one of them will see me as a threat (Yeah, right - a 60 year old like me!). And for the record, I haven't camped/hiked/climbed etc. with just one other guy. I did do several trips with a girlfriend but those stopped after the murders along that section of the AT.

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mconnell

 
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by mconnell » Sun Oct 18, 2009 11:24 pm

thoth wrote:
The Chief wrote:
MoapaPk wrote:I fit neither stereotype; I just don't like putting other people in pain.


Why would you be putting anyone in pain if you are just roping up for a climb?

This just don't make a lick of sense.... NONE!


roping up is one thing, spending the night with a member of the opposite sex when married?


If your SO doesn't trust you, it doesn't matter 'cuz the relationship is screwed anyway. The bottom line is that, if you are going to cheat, you are going to cheat. The idea that getting into a tent is going to make something happen that wouldn't happen otherwise is BS. A SO getting up tight about it isn't going to stop it from happening, either.

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vidclimber

 
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by vidclimber » Mon Oct 19, 2009 12:17 am

I am always asked by people "if the outdoors is such a big part of your life, why did you not marry someone who is as into the outdoors as you are." I always respond by saying, there are many other attribute that are more important to me. My wife does enjoy the outdoors and on summer day/weekend trips she joins me. But when it is cold or above her ability she does not want anything to do with it.

Mywife trusts me completely and I her. I am not a professional guide but I take females hiking, climbing, backpacking, mountaineering, biking, etc. in mixed company, in groups or just the two of us. I do not ask my wife all the time is she is ok with the trip. Mostly because she is helping plan most of the trips, and on those that are going to be me and one female she has suggested one tent and has said "if you get cold just snuggle up to David. He is a portable heater."

My frustation on this subject is I just lost one of the best climbing/mountaineering partners I have ever had because she does not want to do anything just the two of us.

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MarthaP

 
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by MarthaP » Mon Oct 19, 2009 1:25 pm

FortMental wrote:What if you go solo and end up masturbating. Does that count as cheating?


And if you use your liner sock does your hand get jealous? :roll:

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The Chief

 
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by The Chief » Mon Oct 19, 2009 3:20 pm

Seriously Martha, truly saddening when issues of this sort appear and are brought up.

I never think about the gender of the climber/s I may go out with for the day/s, week etc.

I always hope that they are motivated and willing to challenge themselves, be safe and have lots of fun. Those are the only issues that interest me when out on the rope.

You are more than welcome anytime if ya ever come to the Eastern Sierra, to give me a holler, climb, ski and if ya need a place to stay, my house is always welcome. Many here on SP have experienced that open hospitality and it is always open to you.

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