Welcome to SP!  -
Areas & RangesMountains & RocksRoutesImagesArticlesTrip ReportsGearOtherPeoplePlans & PartnersWhat's NewForum

The Politics of Man and Woman

Minimally moderated forum for climbing related hearsay, misinformation, and lies.
 

Postby MarthaP » Mon Oct 19, 2009 3:35 pm

Thanks, Chief. I intend to take you up on that!

I agree, it's mostly disappointing that these questions and conflicts appear at all, particularly for those who are serious about mountaineering/climbing/the Great Outdoors and who also live with ethics and integrity. I agree with Kiefer and Haliku that it's all a matter of trust and if it isn't there, then that relationship is either doomed or smacks of dishonesty. While I completely understand the empathy that some show to their SO's when they see hurt in another's face, my take would be to use that as an opportunity to delve into the reasons for the hurt and negotiate a solution. I learned the hard way that giving up that which means most to me only delays the inevitable. So I don't make that choice any more. I also think it's unfair to expect someone else to play along with the ruse. So I'm not making that choice any more, either.

And yes, if there's too much energy left at the end of the day for shaggin', then the climbin' hasn't been challenging enough! :lol:
User Avatar
MarthaP

 
Posts: 1300
Joined: Sat May 31, 2008 1:13 pm
Location: Evergreen, Colorado
Thanked: 4 times in 1 post

Postby MoapaPk » Mon Oct 19, 2009 7:26 pm

The Chief wrote:
MoapaPk wrote:I fit neither stereotype; I just don't like putting other people in pain.


Why would you be putting anyone in pain if you are just roping up for a climb?

This just don't make a lick of sense.... NONE!


Chief, I think I misread your intent. My apologies

I meant emotional pain, which seems to be a lot harder on folks than physical pain. I often put people through physical pain when they follow me for high altitude scrambles; but they are really putting themselves through the pain, as they get plenty of warning, and choose to accompany me. And in the vast majority of cases, they feel better about themselves in the end.

On the other hand, we've had at least three married pairs of friends, in the last 10 years, break up partly because they grew too close to their outdoor partners, who were not their spouses. The actual physical intimacy didn't take place when they were outdoors; but that's when the bonds were built. My wife can't help but remember them. Some moved on quickly; others still feel the sting.

We've been married 32 years, and trust each other more than most spouses.
User Avatar
MoapaPk

 
Posts: 7652
Joined: Fri May 13, 2005 7:42 pm
Location: Las Vegas, Nevada, United States
Thanked: 756 times in 490 posts

Re: The Politics of Man and Woman

Postby hikinedd » Mon Oct 19, 2009 8:50 pm

MarthaP wrote:...I know women who’ll fuck anything that moves...


I'm surprised no one's asked for names or numbers. ;-)

My SO and I got into hiking and climbing together. I'm convinced the trust on both our parts comes from experiencing the outdoors as participants, knowing the difference between the backcountry and a singles bar. Granted, I'm older and am able to project the guilt from, and worthlessness of, an affair in light of the pricelessness of our relationship. Once you cross the line you can't go back. If you can't do the time...

I could be wrong, but it seems the mores of the young today are even looser than those of my sixties generation (sadly, as a fat teenager I'm afraid I was merely a spectator). When kids say, "It's only sex," I honestly think they're kidding themselves unless they're pathological.

I also think Chief and I share the same, ingrained sensibility in that, whether male or female, they're all friends. The benefits they come with are climbing compatibility and the shared love of the mountains. What happens in the backcountry doesn't really stay in the backcountry; it goes wherever you go.
User Avatar
hikinedd

 
Posts: 76
Joined: Wed Aug 14, 2002 2:00 pm
Location: Orange County, California, United States
Thanked: 0 time in 0 post

Postby MarthaP » Tue Oct 20, 2009 12:07 am

hikinedd,

Great, clear thoughts. I think you've captured the essence of the question with your responses. I guess it's just a different generation, or sumpin'.

It's another lesson in this whole politics thing, how close to home it really is, and how important it is on all levels to understand and know your partner.
User Avatar
MarthaP

 
Posts: 1300
Joined: Sat May 31, 2008 1:13 pm
Location: Evergreen, Colorado
Thanked: 4 times in 1 post

Postby woodsxc » Tue Oct 20, 2009 1:08 am

I was on a backpacking trip on the AT with my college's outing club. There were, including the two leaders, five guys and five girls. On our first night, we ended up camping about 100 yards away from a similar group from Bates College. We talked (not much cuz they're beneath us ;) ) to the Bates group and learned some rather interesting stuff. Among other things, the Bates leaders had two tents, a guys tent and a girls tent, and woe unto him who entered the other gender's tent. Strict, zero-tolerance, policy.

Our leaders had a different approach. We had three tents, one for the leaders (a guy and a girl), and two group tents. We pitched all three and the leaders let us decide as a group what we wanted to do. I, along with one other guy and two of the girls, opted to pitch a tarp and go sans tent. The others all slept in one tent.

None of us saw anything wrong with this and nothing "improper" happened. However, when we told the Bates group, they were aghast. People need to lighten up.
User Avatar
woodsxc

 
Posts: 2620
Joined: Sat Sep 20, 2008 5:53 pm
Location: Brunswick, Maine, United States
Thanked: 7 times in 5 posts

Postby MoapaPk » Tue Oct 20, 2009 1:35 am

woodsxc wrote:None of us saw anything wrong with this and nothing "improper" happened. However, when we told the Bates group, they were aghast. People need to lighten up.


Well now, this old-timer, who grew up in the 60s and 70s, went on many a trip where unmarried females and males shared the same shelter. I recall waking up next to a nude woman, who just happened to be bunking next to me. In winter, we were all so bundled that any intimacy was out of the question. In addition, hard work and stinky sweat do a lot to suppress hormones.

But that was then, before I was married.

You young bucks need to realize that you ain't doin' nothin' new.
User Avatar
MoapaPk

 
Posts: 7652
Joined: Fri May 13, 2005 7:42 pm
Location: Las Vegas, Nevada, United States
Thanked: 756 times in 490 posts

Postby lcarreau » Tue Oct 20, 2009 2:00 am

Back in the day - when I was knee-high to a llama, I went on a field-trip with several

of the opposite sex who were very (well) entertaining and fun to be around.

We were all forced to spend the night in a cheap motel, and suddenly the authoritarian of

the group came in and separated the boys from the girls.


(In my later years, I was kinda glad it worked out that way!)

:shock:
User Avatar
lcarreau

 
Posts: 4055
Joined: Thu Sep 06, 2007 10:27 pm
Location: Court of the Crimson King, Arizona, United States
Thanked: 900 times in 677 posts

Postby lcarreau » Tue Oct 20, 2009 2:12 am

Sorry, I thought this was the BS thread.

Actually, experience is a good thing to have in a world of elves, trolls and fairies.

:wink:
User Avatar
lcarreau

 
Posts: 4055
Joined: Thu Sep 06, 2007 10:27 pm
Location: Court of the Crimson King, Arizona, United States
Thanked: 900 times in 677 posts

Postby MoapaPk » Tue Oct 20, 2009 2:14 am

Dingus Milktoast wrote:
MoapaPk wrote:In winter, we were all so bundled that any intimacy was out of the question.


I can't imagine such a scenario! You weren't wearing them Mormon Jammies were you? The ones without any buttons????

DMT


I'm thinking about nighttime in the lean-to, when it was -15F outside, and we were all in those old-fashioned mummy bags, the ones that had feet shaped like... feet. When you wore a wool balaclava to bed, pulled down across your face...

My pants had lots of buttons, because they were surplus felt navy blues.
User Avatar
MoapaPk

 
Posts: 7652
Joined: Fri May 13, 2005 7:42 pm
Location: Las Vegas, Nevada, United States
Thanked: 756 times in 490 posts

Postby lcarreau » Tue Oct 20, 2009 4:44 am

Did you say manual?

You mean, you have to unfasten the buttons manually ??? ??

:lol:
Last edited by lcarreau on Tue Oct 20, 2009 4:44 am, edited 1 time in total.
User Avatar
lcarreau

 
Posts: 4055
Joined: Thu Sep 06, 2007 10:27 pm
Location: Court of the Crimson King, Arizona, United States
Thanked: 900 times in 677 posts

Postby Foxy Long Bottoms » Tue Oct 20, 2009 3:35 pm

I just lost my primary rock, ice, mountaineering partner to his insecure girlfriend. I guess he is one of the honest ones since he won't lie to her, which I think is wonderful. It sucks that they both felt the need to turn this into some kind of choice. It sucks when people feel the need to lie. Why can't people just climb and be cool?
User Avatar
Foxy Long Bottoms

 
Posts: 907
Joined: Tue Mar 01, 2005 3:33 pm
Location: Littleton, Colorado, United States
Thanked: 0 time in 0 post

Postby Guyzo » Tue Oct 20, 2009 3:45 pm

Foxy Long Bottoms wrote:I just lost my primary rock, ice, mountaineering partner to his insecure girlfriend. I guess he is one of the honest ones since he won't lie to her, which I think is wonderful. It sucks that they both felt the need to turn this into some kind of choice. It sucks when people feel the need to lie. Why can't people just climb and be cool?



Good question.

+1
User Avatar
Guyzo

 
Posts: 2567
Joined: Tue Jun 10, 2003 12:11 am
Location: Moorpark, California, United States
Thanked: 24 times in 13 posts

Postby MoapaPk » Tue Oct 20, 2009 4:47 pm

Maybe people aren't picturing all the extremes.

I used to hike (up to low class 5) with a woman who was quite svelte and tended to wear skimpy clothes. She had been married 9 times (in many different countries), and tended to make overtly sexual and flirtatious comments (<<voulez vous coucher avec moi?>>). Her standard way of greeting me at the start of a trip, was to jump up and wrap her legs around my waist. People who witnessed this ritual made bawdy comments.

I think her rituals were mainly an act to help build her persona, but many normally sedate wives were jealous of her.

There was no way in the world that I was going to go alone with her, even on a day hike. We were always went with at least one other person.
User Avatar
MoapaPk

 
Posts: 7652
Joined: Fri May 13, 2005 7:42 pm
Location: Las Vegas, Nevada, United States
Thanked: 756 times in 490 posts

PreviousNext

Return to Ethics, Spray, and Slander

 


  • Related topics
    Replies
    Views
    Last post

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 0 guests

© 2006-2013 SummitPost.org. All Rights Reserved.