I have nieces that age, and I can't help feeling like a perv if I check out women that young... my women gotta have some mileage on 'em, look like forty miles of bad road with wrinkles, missing teeth, straggly gray hair, the whole nine yards, LOL. Actually, there are a couple of "older women" in this neighborhood who look better than many gals half their age, it's all in how they take care of themselves, I reckon. And who gives a shit if someone calls ya a porch monkey??? As long as they don't call ya late for dinner, that's all that really matters. Beautiful day here, I'll spend it painting that fender panel and the boat, it would be a good day to sail though, no doubt. Hey, our green parrots are back, you can read about 'em at the other site, in that kitten thread... you should've seen Little Wing leap up and tear outside when he first heard 'em, he has never heard them before in his short life o' roughly nine months, you understand. Must be that wild Bengal streak in him, I think his wild ancestors must have preyed upon birds back in the day, you can tell "The Wingster" is descended from arboreal cats, the way he rockets up trees, fences, the ol' shotgun shack carport posts, etc., etc. Wingnut is the baddest climbing cat I've ever seen, I'm a little worried that he might climb the wooden utility pole out front, just to try and get at the parrots, then fry himself on the high-voltage lines.

Overhead wires, you understand, this burg is too cheap to go with underground electrical, AYE??? The slimy little ethnic rat turd mayor and his cronies are too busy shoveling funds into their own accounts, I reckon... that fat greasy little criminal-cop-protecting maggot. Unlocal fucking kook too, complete scumbag already caught in questionable practices, funneling money into the corrupt school district so his greaseball pals can rake millions, those fucking criminal scum o' the earth. What do taxpayers get in return??? Shoddy-assed construction and substandard administration, that's what... criminal cocksuckers all ought to be behind bars, the fucking scum. That one kook principal, also unlocal, got up and lied under oath in the latest round of false charges, the faggot-ass cops talked the kook into doing this because the kook didn't know of the LONG DOCUMENTED HISTORY behind my case(s). Scumbag is sweatin' now, I reckon, with details of my long ordeal being shotgunned to media nation-fucking-wide, then CC'd to niggers like Holder in the so-called "Justice Department"---PFFFFFT. Whole town knows about this lying shitbag now as well, my friends who ran the surf shop for so long are seeing to that, LOL. Not a good idea to piss off old school locals in this town, because the world's gonna hear about it one way or another.

Hey, I even primed the Zahau attorneys with beta on these lying faggot-ass greaseball cops, the criminal scum o' the earth... same scumbags who said the Zahau bitch hung herself on the beach here in my home town. You probably heard about that fiasco, yeah??? It made global headlines, and it ain't over yet... naturally, I'll do everything in my power to see these corrupt scumbag cops dragged into the harsh light of exposure, along with the slimy criminal perv scumbucket D.A. who routinely protects the trash, that fugly friggin' strap-on Darwin Failure. You can Google "Zahau" to see what I mean, just one criminal fiasco out of many created by this scrub queer D.A. and the lying faggot-ass greaseball cops. One fine day, I'll see that slimy and evil criminal perv scumbucket taken the fuck down... think of it as my contribution to mankind, AYE?!? With any luck, the criminal queer scumbucket will get assassinated first, I know a shitload of other citizens can't stand that nasty homo shitbag. Fucking queer trash, I hate all queers now after my decade-long ordeal with that perv scumbucket and her rounds of false charges.

Ironically, I never used to give a shit whether some faggot turd was gay, separate reality and all, nothing to do with my life, etc., etc. Now I shit all over faggot scum every chance I get, loudly and in public, dude... thought I fucking WOULDN'T?!? Piss on the faggot trash and Epic Friggin' Darwin Failures, they can't crawl off and die of AIDS fast enough. In a perfect world, they'd all be shot on sight, same as with these lying greaseball cops, robed sodomite pocket judges, slimy scumbag politicos who never do anything about the situation, ALL THOSE CRIMINAL FUCKING SCUM O' THE EARTH. I'm related by marriage and blood to the Boone Family, as in Daniel Boone, and my law-abiding family has a long and honorable history of military service to this country... I personally served in the Infantry (USA INF), so I'm not impressed by report-falsifying and perjurious faggot-ass greaseball cops, those badge-sportin' scum. Fifty years on this planet with no record to speak of, and suddenly I'm a "felon" for a crime I never committed, courtesy of lying scum with badges and the scrub queer D.A. who routinely protects them, not to mention the robed sodomite pocket judges in those rigged courtrooms... PFFFFFT. Like I said, PISS ON THE FAGGOT TRASH, I'LL SEE 'EM GO DOWN YET, BECAUSE I'M A GOOD HATER WHEN IT COMES TO CRIMINAL SCUM LIKE THESE PIECES O' WORK, 10-4??? Enough ranting for now, LOL, those faggots can't ruin my day today, or any other day, and I'll do more media damage to those criminal scum than they ever did to me, I guaran-fuckin'-tee it. Thank God for the Internet, AYE??? LOL. Time to crack a cold one and get prepped for boat work, I'm outta here, color me gone, ADIOS, HAND!!! Make sure that gal is legal before you do anything, no need to add statutory rape charges to whatever else ya got going on down there, 10??? My legal counsel for the day, and it didn't even cost ya one thin dime, LOL.

R U KIDDING, DUDE??? Your back-asswards country didn't get the skinny on the MOTHERFUCKING ZAHAU MURDER?!?!? R U SHITTING ME??? GLOBAL FUCKING MEDIA, DUDE. Kid dies, the fucking greaseball relatives set up the Zahau bitch and hang her (including the ex-wife, that nasty criminal fucking cunt), the rich fucking murderous AZ SHACKJOB scumbucket BUYS his way outta prison with a "GET OUTTA JAIL FREE CARD"---as in a GODDAM CRIMINAL "CAMPAIGN CONTRIBUTION" TO THE SCRUB QUEER D.A. IN HER FAILED MAYORAL BID, and perhaps a "contribution" to the BUTTFUCKING QUEER SCUMBUCKET SHERIFF HERE IN DAGO, AYE??? Another slimy unlocal FAGGOT TURD, the polesmokin' fudgepacker should be SCIENTIFICALLY IMPALED, that SLIMY CRIMINAL PERV SCUMBUCKET. I always understood that FAGGOT SCUM like shit jammed up their AIDS-ridden asses, those stinking queers. Pfffffft... and YOUR back-assward goat-roping country didn't even HEAR about this CRIMINAL BULLSHIT ON THE EVIL PERV SCUMBUCKET D.A.'s RECORD??? WTF, dude, I thought NZ was coming up in the world when it came to technology, at least when I saw the NZ boats... maybe you're still FUCKING SHEEP where NEWS O' THE WORLD flies, AYE??? Christ, Dude, the bitch gets murdered, money changes hands, and ALL THE GUILTY PARTIES ARE STILL AT LARGE, NOT TO MENTION IN OFFICE, THE CRIMINAL FUCKING SCUM O' THE EARTH.

Tell me, hand, in your goat-roping fucking country, is there such a thing as JUSTICE??? Or is it the SAME as far as CORRUPTION goes??? I always mentally pictured NZ as some rustic yet HONEST paradise on earth, maybe I was FUCKIN' DREAMIN', YEAH??? LOL. Meh, no worries, same ol' corrupt shit going down, no doubt, just at a slower pace. FUCK IT, I'M BACK TO MY CLINT EASTWOOD FLICK, THIS FAGGOT-ASSED BRAD "AVOCADO PIT" NUMBER AIN'T CUTTING IT, AYE??? I only turned the channel during an ad, now it's time to turn it back. BTW, you can also Google the Cynthia Sommer Case to read about a ridiculous waste of tax dollars, and you can Google the ridiculous Mansker faggot to read about the SHOOTING OF NIGGER FOLEY UNDER THE SKETCHIEST CIRCUMSTANCES, LOL. WTF, where ELSE besides this burg where I was born can a TRIGGER-HAPPY PUNK-ASS BADGE-SPORTIN' FAGGOT TURD CAP A MOTHERFUCKING NIGGER NFL BALLPLAYER AND RUIN THE NIGGER'S CAREER, YET STILL KEEP HIS JOB, EVEN THOUGH THE PUNK FAGGOT COP BITCH COST TAXPAYERS AT LEAST $5.5 MIL, AYE??? WHERE THE FUCK WERE THE SHARPTON & JACKSON SCUMBAGS THEN, THE FUCKING NIGGER TRASH??? Goddam, only in this seaside ghetto and bastion of political corruption, I reckon. Go read up on the shit and learn something, my friend, or PISS THE FUCK OFF when ya have NO CLUE and are NOT qualified to even COMMENT UPON THE FUCKING SITUATION, 10-4??? We gots corrupt criminal faggot scum in office, and THAT unfortunate circumstance is contributing to the overall demise of this once-great nation. Meh, back to Clint, even if Hollywood Faggot Jews are a MAJOR part of the problem. PFFFFFFFT.

Turning a blind eye to bad deeds and their perpetrators won't make them go away, 10-4??? Definition of a cop in Dago County: A COWARDLY FAGGOT BITCH AND A LIAR HIDING BEHIND A BADGE AND A CORRUPT SCRUB QUEER D.A., PROTECTED IN TURN BY CROOKED ROBED SODOMITE POCKET JUDGES & SLIMY SCUMBAG POLITICIANS, ALL PROTECTED BY A FILTHY BISCUIT-LIPPED COON-ASSED CRIMINAL NIGGER SCUMBUCKET IN THE SO-CALLED "JUSTICE DEPARTMENT"---AS WELL AS "THE BUILDING FORMERLY KNOWN AS THE WHITE HOUSE."

At least true citizens and taxpayers are starting to get a clue about these pension-scammin' badge-sportin' criminal pig scum o' the earth, and all the criminal "judicial" and political fucking scum who routinely protect them. In a perfect world, they'd all be SHOT, STAKED, OR HUNG WITH FUCKING PIANO WIRE. Same goes for all FAGGOT TRASH, AIDS AIN'T KILLING 'EM FAST ENOUGH, AYE??? Meh, no worries, I see the Second American Revolution starting soon enough, and I reckon it'll be open season on these CRIMINAL FUCKING RAT TURDS & STINKING QUEERS. People are sick & tired of the TRASH, and that ain't no fucking lie.

In an ideal future, if there IS such a thing as a faggot-ass greaseball cop, that slimy cocksucker will be microchipped, sensored, ear-tagged like fucking cattle and otherwise monitored 24/FUCKING 7/FUCKING 365, so that every move that slimy little faggot turd makes will be open to intense scrutiny, all transgressions and criminal acts swiftly punished and the faggot's badge and service weapon permanently stripped from that lying criminal cocksucker, PRONTO. That's how it'll be in an ideal future, 10-4??? Can't wait for the blessed day... Dorner had it right when he declared war on the criminal scum o' the earth. But then again, he was an honorable black man instead of a criminal nigger scumbucket in office.

Meh, I can do that anytime. Some people have what it takes to stand against corruption... others, not so much. No reflection upon you, it isn't your country at stake. But for all true American citizens & patriots, this evil which has arisen must be faced, or the country will swirl down the shitter in record time. It's already well on its way, dude... I ought to know, I've traveled it like few others have.

Apathy toward this evil is the same as cowardice in my book. I'm not gonna be intimidated by badge-sportin' thugs and the stinking faggot trash who routinely protect them, I'm gonna spread the word at a hundred different websites about these criminal scum o' the earth. WTF, the country's already swirling down the shitter, I got nothing to lose, 10-4??? And payback is always good, though I like it better in person.

Damn... perfect sailing weather all week, AND big surf to boot, but I had to choose this week to pull an overhaul of my boat. Just my fucking luck... I could be patrolling the beach here in my home town, cruising just outside the impact zone and gettin' the good views, and "The Fish" is stripped down and taped up like the license plates on some tweakin' cartel spicktard's meth-haulin' rig, 10-4??? On top of missing all the action (this time around, anyway), I get the added benefit of extra bugs, dust, organic debris, etc., in my paint, courtesy of these warm Santa Ana breezes. Heavy fog and condensation at night too, which fucks with my outdoor paint curing, LOL. Meh, I reckon this overhaul will take longer than usual, and I like my paint to cure for a week on the boat cradle anyway, so I'm fucked on this one with the bad timing.

Somehow that reminds me of a time when I was about to get it on with this scorching hot blonde gal, a young gal back when I was fairly young, this gal could've graced the cover of any international fashion magazine, no problem. Well, I had some REALLY BAD INTESTINAL GAS, and this chick got a long-distance phone call from one of her friends, so I figured I'd slip into the bathroom of her flat and let that gas rip, right. UGLINESS, dude, I'm talking about explosively spraying the bowl and peeling the fucking paint, 10??? Loud as fuck too, even with the sink tap running full blast as audio cover. When I emerged minutes later, the gal was off the phone, lyin' in bed naked just STARIN' at me in traumatized fashion---Jerry Springer never heard the end of it, I reckon. A classic case of bad timing, we still took care of business but the "romance" was KIA. I think maybe my tapeworm was getting back at me for giving it grief, too much "health food" and not enough o' the rich stuff, or the greasy stuff, or whatever the fuck, LOL. Goddam worm had the last laugh on that one, no doubt.

Then there was the time when I worked as a deckhand aboard the largest spectator craft during the '92 Cup Series, not a bad gig because it paid well for the time, ya met all kinds of women while under way, and you could raid reefers full o' good beer purchased by the rich wanks who owned the boat. I met this killer chick aboard the boat, and we began to date over the course of a couple weeks or whatever. The night she wants to bring it is the very same day that the rich wank owners try to cut pay for all crew members across the board... pissed me off because I was the one doing ALL the technical work, hanging in slings over the side of this cheesy four-decker cattleboat, right? So that night, I'm at her flat and she has this romantic gig going, but all I could think of was the job, and how I told those wanks to go fuck themselves for trying to mess with my pay. Again, the gal still brought it, but it was... er... less than stellar, LOL. Just another classic case of bad timing all around. Meh, it'll all be the same in 100 years, who gives a fuck, AYE?!?

Reckon I'll go handle some business, gotta play chauffeur today as well (routine medical appointment for a relative), I may just let the first deck coat cure today, since I fucked up and didn't put the cover back over the boat before the fog hit... goddam Dixie cat was lying on my sweatpants, and I didn't wanna disturb her, since she's a real sweetheart. Then I fell asleep, woke at midnight and walked out to cover the boat---too late, the bitch was soaking wet, the paint nowhere near cured, not on the foredeck anyway. So maybe I'll just let that dry out thoroughly today, then I can sand it a bit and put a second coat of enamel on early tomorrow, so it has all day to cure, not just half a day as it had yesterday with my late start. I'm usually good at all this painting bullshit, none fucking better, right??? But this overhaul has been like dating a tweakin' goddam crackerhead, something I quit doing over a decade ago because it just wasn't worth the trouble, LOL. And using cheap enamel instead of my usual two-part linear poly primer and paint also has something to do with it. Meh, nobody will ever know when I'm done, and the boat's gonna get beaten to death like Dahmer in prison ANYWAY. What I SHOULD HAVE DONE is beat it to death by sailing hard this week, taking advantage of this perfect sailing weather, BEFORE starting the goddam overhaul, LOL.

"LET THIS BE A LESSON TO YOU, GRASSHOPPER..."

Adios, Magic Man... don't forget what I said about these lying greaseball cops here in KaliMexiFornia, AYE??? Avoid the criminal scum like the fucking plague that they are... I'm outta here, color me gone, you can keep up with what's happening here through the other website, 10-4??? Got more painting done on the boat, but these Santa Ana winds are wreaking havoc, dumping metric tons of dirt & dust---plus I counted a Guinness World Record number of Kamikaze bugs earlier today, the fuckers heard me crack the paint tin and circled overhead like Japanese pilots eyeballing a goddam carrier. As soon as the first strokes of paint were laid on, they came screaming down outta the sun... boat took a beating in the process. Meh, I'm already fucked with this Santa Ana development, might as well buy another can o' paint and add a couple layers to hide all the blemishes, yeah??? Kick back, smoke a bowl (legally now on my own property, go figure, since I have my MMJ card), then get down to business... no rocket science involved in painting by hand with cheap enamel, AYE???

P.S. Hey, your fucked-up life is about to get even better, tomorrow is Friday the 13th, LOL. Or is it already Friday the 13th down there... maybe so, in which case you've already been jailed for Felony DUI, after slamming into a wagonload of nuns (or kids) and killing the lot, LOL.

YO, "URIEL FEIGE!!!" (And to think some here labeled ya as an Internet Troll, LOL.) Got banned again from my usual site, some faggot-assed cop greaseball started squawkin' and pissed me off, 10-4??? No worries, I gotta post up all my stories anyway, probably take me a couple months to do it, and on top of all that, I gotta finish the trim on the boat and work on this PRIMO LITTLE MINI-BIKE I JUST BOUGHT. I call it my "Obamanomic Monster Dirt Bike"---'78 Honda Trail Bike with fat little tires and a gleaming modded-out motor, fucker HAULS ASS, and I haven't even started working a little magic on it, or put on the $200 bad boy high-performance exhaust pipe, LOL. I'm thinking this little offroad rocket will be a heller MX hottie magnet, not those female riders who look like goddam Russian weightlifters and are twice the man I am, but the hotties, AYE??? LOL. Furthermore, I reckon those Freestyle MXers and KTM Boyz will all wanna ride this tricked-out bike, so I can SWAP MACHINES and get some full-sized riding time, yeah??? Best of all, this little bike actually fits in the back seat of the p.o.s. Camry, no trailer fees or trailer maintenance involved, 10??? Sheeeee-it, I won't even waste time or money on those beaner fucking cockroaches down at the DMV---this bike will go straight out on the riding trails at Lark Canyon, where there are no stinking badges. When it's not in use, I'll HIDE the mini rocket behind my tent, maybe even IN the tent, LOL. Guess I'll hafta break down and buy enough climbing gear to do the Lowenbrau Pinnacle again: ride the Obamanomic Monster Dirt Bike to the base of the spire, rucksack on my back, the way it's done out here in The Socialist Republik of KaliMexiFornia, this beaner-infested shithole, LOL. Meh, piss on the greasy buster-ass fucking beaner cockroaches, who gives a shit about the ethnics ANYWAY, YEAH?!? Think I'll grab another beer outta the fridge, I'm all jacked about owning a dirt bike again, thing is the most fun I've had with my clothes on in a LONNNNNG TIME, LOL. Well, since I sailed the length of the Salton Sea... THAT was fucking killer too, awesome venue, the Salton. There are some riding trails out there too, in areas where faggot-ass greaseball cops are unlikely to appear, I may hafta haul the bike out there and rip around on it. Hey, your new handle is gay, ya need to revert to more manly Internet Troll action, 10??? And that's not even taking the whole Jewish thing into account... I never thought I'd be sprayin' this on the stinking Interwebs, but GIVE ME JEWS OVER FAGGOT TRASH ANY DAY OF THE WEEK, LOL. Damn, that's just fucking MESSED UP, LOL. Alright, it's time for a cold one, I'm tempted to fire up my "new" rocket just to rile the fucking neighbors, those unlocal fagtards, but that might draw LYING FAGGOT-ASS GREASEBALL COPS, and I don't need any of those badge-sportin' fudgepackers ruining my excellent morning... NEIN, NYET, NO FUTURE IN DEALING WITH THOSE FAGGOT SCUM, LOL. Ciao, Magic Man, talk to ya later, after ya swap out yer handle, 10???

Lemme guess... ya got tossed behind bars, LOL. I learned some more details about my "new" mountaineering approach rig, it's a Honda Z50 Mini Trail, but some former owner dropped a 70 motor onto the 50 frame, and the bike is one of those that pulls strongly ANYWAY, yeah? I already scored some primo knobbies for it, probably pick those up today at the cycle supply joint, I paid for 'em in full so all I hafta do is pick 'em up and throw 'em on. Put a nice new plug into the bike, along with some specially-formulated Castrol 4-stroke oil for cycles (yes, the bike is a 4-stroke, no ridiculous premixing of fuel and oil, LOL). Got a choice new 5-gallon plastic fuel can with a safety nozzle on it, the spill-proof kind. Chain is soaking in motor oil as I wait for the knobbies. Slapped some heller cool stickers on my bike too, just to dress it up a bit. On top of the tank, a burly Metal Mulisha skull in OD helmet, with another smaller sticker positioned "below" the skull: "BAD COP, NO DONUT!!!" On one side of the tank, a big ol' DK logo sticker (DEAD KENNEDYS); on the other side, a sticker that reads, "JOHNNY CASH IS A FRIEND OF MINE!!!" South Coast Surfboards stickers on each side, Van's Off The Wall skate stickers fore and aft... some Race Tech stickers to dress up the forks... probably add a few more as I go along, AYE??? Wanted a big ol' pot leaf sticker for the top o' the tank, but THE BLACK didn't have one, go figure, though they DID have the MM sticker, the DK sticker, the Johnny Cash sticker, etc., etc.

Gotta pick up some high-temp paint for the guard on the pipe, dress it up too... I already have regular Gloss Black paint in rattle cans, and I think I might paint the hubs black too, the rest of the bike already looks good. Need a new tarp to place under the bike during transport in the back seat of the p.o.s. Camry---got several old tarps out back, but I want a nice new one which I can mark on one side, so I know which side to clean if any oil or gas drops onto it. Blanket down first on the back seat, then the tarp, then the bike tied down in vertical position (fits perfectly), using the head-rests back there as lash points. Already got more than enough line and webbing for securing the boat atop the car, 10??? Industrial 'biners too for clipping to metal eyes beneath the frame, but I won't need those for the bike, LOL. Can't wait to go camping for about three days, once the knobbies are on and the bike back together. These so-called "monkeybikes" are BIG Down Under, dude, especially in the Land of Oz: some hands drop 110 motors on those little 50 frames, slap 110 forks and 12" wheels on there, they even trick out the swingarms and weld monoshocks on 'em, it's freakin' apeshit, the bikes are BADASS DIRT BIKES, but they're MINIATURIZED, 10-4??? Classic little bikes, some of 'em, and high-performance too... but this little beast o' mine will do just fine, I can already tell other hands will wanna ride it, LOL. "YEAH, OKAY, TWIST MY ARM, I GUESS I CAN RIDE THAT TRICKED-OUT KTM THUMPER OR FREESTYLE MX BIKE IF I ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO RIDE THE PIECE O' JUNK... PFFFFFFT."

Meh, life is good right now, the boat's about done, even though I missed all that excellent sailing weather. This primo monkeybike will be ready shortly, so THAT will be a BLAST... might hafta pick up one of those spiked German helmets for riding it, skip the full-coverage Bell Moto 3 number (dating myself here). That German helmet will go well with my rucksack full o' climbing gear for tackling the Lowenbrau Pinnacle, LOL. I'll get some pics of the beast up at the other site, once the current ban is lifted... hate it when that happens, LOL, but some things just GOTTA BE SAID, especially where these scumbag greaseball cops and scrub queer D.A.s are concerned: lying criminal trash are WAY THE FUCK OUT OF CONTROL, TIME TO REIN 'EM IN HARD, AYE??? I'm not the only citizen & motherfucking taxpayer who feels this way either... this evil criminal strap-on perv scumbucket D.A. belongs behind bars, the nasty criminal homo shitbag & Epic Friggin' Darwin Failure. Same goes for the lying greaseball cops, robed sodomite pocket judges, slimy scumbag politicians, etc., etc., etc. In a perfect world, they'd ALL be shot on sight, or hung with fucking piano wire... stake the worst offenders and put 'em under the torch and pliers till they sing like canaries about their BAD DEEDS, YEAH??? In the meantime, I'll go out of my way to DELIBERATELY SCRAPE THE SCUMBAGS OUTTA MY LIFE LIKE DOGSHIT OFF MY FUCKING BOOT... AIN'T NO STINKING FAGGOT TRASH OR LYING GOOMBAH FUCKTARD COPS ON THE SALTON, AYE??? Or out on the BLM riding trails either, for that matter, and GOOD FUCKING RIDDANCE. Alright, I'm back to my rack for some more sleep & quality time with the cats... I'm outta here, color me gone, ADIOS!!!

"THE FUCKING RAILSPLITTER" (LOL)

Bullshit? Naaaah, you merely lack the necessary 007 security clearance to access the page, LOL. Servers or web browsers are incompatible, I get that shit all the time with the prehistoric electronic crap here at the ol' hacienda. Once you're using equipment compatible with whatever the site uses, then the pics come up, otherwise you're S.O.L. Hey, kiteboarding is pretty big here, but the rigs are expensive for those starting out... and I already have "The Fish" as a recreational craft, so I reckon I'll never get around to kiteboarding or kite surfing. Looks pretty cool though, especially when the riders catch air off bigger waves. Might be a sport for younger hands, too... hearing aids and folding aluminum walkers probably don't mix well with the sport, LOL. When ya talk about kite tubing, you mean tubing as in float trips downriver, but with a kite to accelerate the process and also pull ya back upstream??? That's what I'm guessing... but why a hard shell or hull on the tube? I can see that with a wide peaceful river, but in rapids??? With rocks and chutes and whatever else??? Think I'd go with the reinforced rubber tube in that scenario... for the wide-open rivers, some kinda carbon fiber "hull" for max speed, nice & light too for portage or transport purposes.

I've been wading through a sea of friggin' red tape concerning OHV regs & registration, I wanna bag a "green sticker" but I don't wanna pay a fucking fortune for it, and these money-grubbing DMV scumbags will shake ya down hard if ya let 'em, 10-4??? Grab ya by the ankles, turn ya upside-down, and shake hard till every last goddam nickel is dislodged... pennies too, they don't discriminate when it comes to coinage. Gotta bag a spark arrester (or spark arrestor, either spelling is legitimate), that's a MONSTER FINE from revenue collecting trash if they catch ya without one out there, I heard it's $700-$800, yeah? I think this stock pipe comes with a spark arrestor, but I want the visual slip-on or clamp-on number just to send the faggots on their way. Honda makes a spark arrestor for generators, they only cost about $10 or $12, so I'll probably just hunt down one of those, rather than pay some FUCKING RIDICULOUS AMOUNT for an arrestor "approved" by the USFS (Forest Service) and BLM fucktards. Just another racket there, no need to pay hundreds of dollars for a spark arrestor for this little bike... I'd simply make one myself, but I like the idea of a Honda arrestor on this bike, the receipt might stand up better in these rigged courtrooms, if I meet the classic badge-sportin' faggot turd with a bad attitude. Is there any other kind??? PFFFFFFFT.

Otherwise, I'm still working on the bike, the boat only needs one more coat of paint on the rails, real easy job that I'll knock out tomorrow... er, later today, while the bike may take up to a week to prepare. I'm searching for a manual for this particular bike, on the Internet and at our local library (later today), I can buy one for about $30-$35, but why buy one if I can bag free beta or copy some diagrams/chapters at the library? I'm still debating whether to bust out the bill of sale at the DMV, or declare the bike as a "home-built" number, using receipts and whatnot. Bunch of red tape leech bullshit, ya should simply be able to pay a flat fee for OHV stickers, instead of going through all that rigmarole down at the beaner-infested DMV. The likelihood of anyone ever catching me without a sticker is fairly low where I'll be riding, but better to deny the cocksuckers everything, even if that means paying the goddam piper right off the bat. This fucked-up state under slimy, turkey-necked, beaner-sucking scumbucket Brown has been LOOTING OHV FUNDS DERIVED FROM ALL THESE FEES & NONCOMPLIANCE FINES, so it's not like the BLM fucktards will be riding new KTMs and patrolling the trails... PFFFFFFT. But in my situation, with this scrub queer D.A. looking for ANY EXCUSE to charge me, better to BACKHAND-BITCHSLAP that NASTY CRIMINAL HOMO SHITBAG and just pay for OHV registration.

Once I get all that done, the scumbags will be scraped outta my life for good, 10??? No "FELONY MINIBIKE RIDING" charges for this kid, don'tcha know??? Fucking ridiculous gubmint trash, if the thieving cocksuckers could figure out a way to tax the air citizens breathe, they'd do it... maybe they already have, with all of this EPA-concocted bullshit and CARB shakedown activity. Ya know, Magic Man, it occurs to me that you and I were born in the WRONG CENTURY... should've been born way the fuck back when, in an era where there were NO RULES & REGULATIONS, AYE??? Christ, the hand who invents the time machine will be an instant fucking billionaire, so many folks will wanna travel back in time to escape this tyrannical gubmint bullshit. Whaddya think??? Would you go forward or backward in time??? I'm thinking the quality of life would be better by traveling back about 10,000 years, taking an automatic rifle to light up any fucktards who gave ya lip... conquer Santa Catalina before it even knew the name, LOL. Eat fresh seafood all the time, live free of corrupt thieving gubmint scum, no crowds of goddam tourists, none of that fucking bullshit. Traveling forward in time, I reckon you'd be inhaling solid pollution the goddam second ya stopped the machine, and there'd probably be some greedy revenue-collecting gubmint scumbucket right at hand to shake ya down, charging ya a "time travel fee" and writing up the machine for having an expired sticker... and no spark arrestor, PFFFFFFT.

Meh, think I'll grab another beer, I woke a while ago and couldn't get back to sleep, got a lot on my mind with these two projects of mine, and the weeklong parts hunt for the bike has been edumacational... they don't teach ya this shit in school, LOL. In a way, it reminds me of OTR Truck Driving: you're faced with a series of obstacles which ya knock out one by one, then you're fucking golden, 10-4??? Run around like a chicken with its head cut off on either coast, then kick it and cruise cross-country for 3 or 4 days, fucking off and visiting climbing areas en route. A fast truck comes in handy too, that way you don't spend all day and half the night driving... in a 90-m.p.h. truck, ya make good time, that way you have plenty of recreational time on long trips, and you can save it up to access climbing areas on overnight excursions (out of route and burning company fuel, of course). You know me, the model employee... PFFFFFFT. Back in the day, I figured the bastards were already using the driver, might as well get some payback by turning that rig into a 40-ton fucking RV, LOL. I'm sure glad I went trucking when I did and had so many grand adventures, the industry has turned to shit lately and those days of freedom are long gone. Nowadays, it's two greasy ethnics to every truck, said ethnics sporting fake CDL-As purchased from their wetback pals down at the DMV, all of them endangering the American motoring public BIG-TIME with a HUGE INCREASE IN FATALITY WRECKS. You ever make it up here, remember to NOT hang out near big trucks on the road, a bad policy even when the driver is properly licensed, can read fucking English (as in road signs), and has SOME SORTA CLUE ABOUT HOW TO DRIVE A BIG RIG, ESPECIALLY IN WINTER WEATHER.

Enough said, reckon I'll post up and see what's happening at the other sites... ADIOS, DUDE. Be back later like a bad fucking rash, 10??? LOL.

You mean the oausa.net site? I think he also runs the American Adventurist site, where I was permanently banned... PFFFFFFT. There are some cool threads there, though, nothing to do with that kook. Check the "Malecite" thread in the boating forums, and find those PhotoSynth numbers of the Hoover Dam, those are insane, and totally worth the effort to find them. I may find the specific page for ya later, I'm still searching the Internet for a manual for the bike. I can order one from the cycle supply place, but I'm gonna try to find a free one first... no luck at the library, though they had manuals for all kinds of other vehicles. Meh, no worries, I'll eventually bag one, same way I ordered a spark arrestor and bought a helmet with visor today. Half helmet, not the German kind, this one only cost $60 compared to the $138 for the German number... guess which one got purchased, LOL.

Damn, this friggin' Arctic weather Down South is fucking crazy, it's like another Ice Age with this climate change going on... which reminds me, if I travel back in time, I'd better make it 15,000 or 20,000 years ago, the last Ice Age was about 10,000 years ago, wasn't it? No future in stopping then, all the goddam liquor stores and pot shops will be closed, 10-4??? Dang, sometimes I slay myself. Hey, you never said whether you'd travel forward or backward in time!!! I'm thinking you'd be better off going back in time, if ya go forward there'll probably be a fucking outstanding warrant waiting for ya, LOL. When I go back, I'm taking my three cats, they can keep me company as I build a boat and start fishing the reefs and banks offshore, maybe help me clean the fish and mack the fillets, aye??? I know Little Wing would dig it, he's a natural born hunter, the little varmint, a real terror to prey animals here at the ol' hacienda.

Hey, while I was at the library, I checked out half a dozen DVDs (a whopping 50 cents per disk for a week), including two different film versions of Melville's MOBY DICK... I'm taking me elderly mum to watch "IN THE HEART OF THE SEA" next month, figured we could watch these flicks to get primed for Ron Howard's upcoming movie. You can Google that trailer, just add "trailer" to the movie title, aye? Should be good in IMAX on the giant screen, LOL. These two related films I checked out today include the original Hollywood version with Gregory Peck, and a later version with Donald Sutherland, William Hurt, Ethan Hawke, et al, don't know how good that one is, but as a diehard small craft sailor I'll probably enjoy it just for the ocean views. I also checked out "NOAH" with Russell Crowe, never saw it when it came out. The other three flicks are:

1) "KHARTOUM" with Heston & Olivier, an epic film which predated all this modern CG bullshit.

2) "MACKENNA'S GOLD" with Peck & Sharif, I remember seeing this in the JUSMAG Theater in Athens during its debut.

3) "BRAVO TWO ZERO" with Sean Bean, might be cheesedick but I never saw it either, 10-4???

Thus concludes the film presentations, LOL. I like the old school epics like "CLEOPATRA" and "BEN-HUR" and "THE TEN COMMANDMENTS"---those were the glory days of filmmaking, back when CG effects didn't exist, though there are also some cool modern movies with those same effects. Oh, yeah, the price of admission for movies at the JUSMAG Theater was a whopping fucking quarter, as in 25 cents... damn, those truly were "the good old days." I still remember those hilarious cartoons and shit they played before the feature film, with Bugs Bunny, Porky Pig, Daffy Duck, The Roadrunner et al. CLASSIC CARTOONS, YEAH?!? Hekyll & Jekyll too, or however their names were spelt, the two crows with REALLY BAD ATTITUDES, LOL. Those assclowns were hilarious.

Well, gotta resume my search for the Honda Z50 manual as "The Lawrence Welk Show" is FUCKING CRANKED in the next room, me beloved elderly mum used to play violin for Tommy Dorsey and his orchestra back in post-WWII years, before she fucked up and married a submarine commander, LOL. Ah, well, they were in love, and I guess that's what mattered most at the time, even though the marriage eventually ended in fucking disaster, AYE??? What's that old line? "Better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all..." Or some such bullshit, LOL. Moi, the poet in me DIED AN UGLY DEATH A LONG TIME AGO, just about the time I learned that IT'S ALL ABOUT THE ALMIGHTY DOLLAR, PFFFFFFT. I don't give a flyin' fuck, I've slept with more than my share of beautiful women, even if I was later kicked to the curb because my wallet wasn't fat enough, LOL. I'll go to my grave defiant to the end, just like your sorry ass, LOL... like one skipper said, all women are rentals, and that just about sums it up, I reckon. Meh, no worries, I like my freedom, and I even had some young hotties half my age laughing today and giving me the occasional eye... good thing I'm no perv, I have young nieces that age, 10-4??? I was just having a little fun, and even tried to clean up my language a bit, not an easy thing to do once you've driven a truck for years, and THAT AIN'T NO GODDAM LIE, if I actually cut loose here at this site I'd probably get banned pronto, not that I ACTUALLY GIVE A SHIT, PFFFFFFT. I think I hold the Guinness World Record for getting banned from countless websites, primarily for BASHING FAGGOTS, LYING GREASEBALL COPS, ROBED SODOMITE POCKET JUDGES & SLIMY SCUMBAG POLITICIANS RIGHT UP THE CRIMINAL CHAIN, CLEAR TO THE KENYAN FUCKING 'BOON IN "THE BUILDING FORMERLY KNOWN AS THE WHITE HOUSE."

Piss on the criminal nigger fucking rat turd, his shitty little biscuit-lipped coon-assed reign will soon end due to term limits, and GOOD FUCKING RIDDANCE, not that the NEXT SLIMY FUCKING GREASEBALL will be ANY better... PFFFFFFT. I'm pretty much over ALL LYING SCUMBAG POLS, BOUGHT & SOLD LIKE SO MANY EAR-TAGGED FUCKING CATTLE, YEAH??? This probably included ALL POLS WORLDWIDE, the sooner the commoners & peons (i.e. citizens and taxpayers) wake up to this GLARING FUCKING REALITY, the better, I reckon. In the meantime, I'll go my own way and do what the fuck I want, within the bounds of law & reason (except when nobody else is looking)... that's why I'm adamant about getting the "OHV green sticker" for my new offroad rocket, circa '78, LOL. That was one hell of a year for me and my friends on the skateboarding front, we built huge wooden ramps in my yard and we rode the shit outta parks, pools, ditches, you name it... back when skateboarding was still a CRIME, don'tcha know??? PFFFFFFFFT. Hey, didja hear that??? It was a COLD BEER calling my name, LOL, so here's where we part ways like old school cowboys on the range (no Brokeback Fagtard action). Those kite surfing rigs cost hella money here, dude, the kites are something like $2-3 GRAND, maybe the SHIPPING & HANDLING racks up the score, AYE??? I'm off to the fridge and into cyberspace to locate a manual if possible, before I watch Peck's version of "MOBY DICK"---I think Patrick Stewart is also in it, cast as Ahab, go figure. Meh, should be pretty good, I can't recall if I ever saw it, though I probably did at one time or another. My past life is all a blur, ancient history, 10??? CIAO, MAGIC MAN!!!

P.S. Damn, these musicians on "The Lawrence Welk Show" are FUCKIN' JAMMIN', DUDE... LOL. I'm gettin' terminal arthritis just LISTENING to the piano player, BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Damn, bring on the next beer... PRONTO, CHOP CHOP!!! LOL.

Okay, the version of "MOBY DICK" that I started watching last night is NOT the original '56 version with Gregory Peck directed by Huston, though it DOES feature Gregory Peck as Father Mapple or whatever the fuck his name is, 10-4??? No worries, I'll check out the original once it has been returned to the library, someone else must have the same idea I do, viewing the old flicks before viewing the new movie coming to theaters next month. Meh, any sailing flick is alright in my book, and Stewart is okay as Ahab in this one... I'll finish watching it here in a bit, I got tired last night and those Guinness Extra Stouts I drank didn't help, AYE??? LOL. Well, it rained here last night, barely enough to wet the sidewalks, but that was the first rain we've had this month, the drought is kicking it while the rest of the country is in the deep freeze. Weird-ass weather round here for the past few years, I remember driving through all that icy crap back in the day, I even wrote a story about one narrow escape I had while hauling a 53' wagonload of lead solder waste from CA to PA. Trailer jackknifed several times before I finally slowed and stopped the rig, just missed another truck (which was already stopped in the roadway) by about six inches as I slid past, it was GODDAM CLOSE. No harm, no foul, but I had to change my jammie drawers afterward, AYE??? Almost went in the ditch on that one, but I managed to bring the rig back under control with repeated efforts... the story I wrote is titled "ICE STORM" and it is just one chapter or story in my book, which has a total of about 35 stories. Alright, guess I'll log off and spend some quality time with the cats, maybe work on the bike later. Damn, I just remembered the Daytona 500 is being run this morning, better go turn it on and get my speed fix for the day... no stinking meth, that nasty shit ain't ALLOWED here at the ol' seaside hacienda, same way TWEAKERS & GODDAM CRACKERHEADS ain't allowed, they promptly get DROP-KICKED like I'm STARRIN' in the motherfucking NFL, YEAH?!? Pffffffft, got enough DRAMA in my life already with these lying faggot-assed greaseball cops and evil perv strap-on scumbucket D.A., the NASTY CRIMINAL HOMO SHITBAG. Way too much drama, never wanted ANYTHING to do with the CRIMINAL SCUM O' THE EARTH either, but that's alright, I fought the good fight and shot down half a dozen false charges in their own rigged courtrooms, the fucking scumbags... and I'll shit all over them and every other badge-sportin' faggot turd BIG-TIME, for the rest o' me natural life, AYE??? LOL... revenge is the greatest motivator known to mankind, and that ain't no fuckin' lie. PISS ON THE FAGGOT TRASH, TRUE CITIZENS & PATRIOTS NATIONWIDE NOW GOTS THEIR FUCKIN' NUMBAH... the STOOOPID BADGE-SPORTIN' FAGGOT SCUM. I'm off to Daytona, bruddah... HASTA LUEGO!!! Go catch a monstah triple-overhead wave for me, 10??? LOL.

WAHOO!!! Daytona 500 action and cold beer for breakfast, even though I'll cook a big ol' cholesterol feast here in a while... now that gubmint trash say cholesterol is safe, PFFFFFFT. Hey, Kid Rock was just jammin' live at the racetrack, LOL... WTF, it ain't Indy, but I still like this race, it fills a void after football season ends. Didja hear about the Spanos queers and their plan to move the Chokers to Carson, that shithole??? Funny how most Dago locals wrote in and said, "GOOD FUCKING RIDDANCE, DON'T LET THE SCREEN DOOR BANG YER ASS ON THE WAY OUT!!!" Pffffffft... might as well put the shithouse stadium in COMPTON next door, that way "fans" can get ROBBED & FUCKING SHOT on game days, AYE??? Maybe catch the clap from some nasty BLACK HO CRACKERHEAD BI-YATCH... what a deal. LOL. Adios, Magic Man, you'd better be surfin' the monstahs down there, 10??? Or diving for lobster, maybe you can ship some my way if I throw down an Internet C-note, my "Good Internet Friend"---LOL.

Wrote out a big ol' post last night, then lost it... maybe there are time limits here at this cheesedick site, aye??? Meh, only two more weeks or so before the ban is lifted at my usual site, LOL... gives me time to get this bike up to speed and registered with an OHV sticker. Shark trough sounds like fun, same as coral heads & rocks inches under your board. Time for a cuppa java, woke with a slight hangover this morning. Gotta clean up the mess in both yards from winds and light rain. Ciao.

P.S. Jack Russells are great dogs, smart as fucking whips... probably the most dog you can get for its size, the Jack Russell Terrier.