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Don Whillans – the 'ard little man in the flat 'at
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Don Whillans – the 'ard little man in the flat 'at

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Don Whillans – the \'ard little man in the flat \'at

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Object Title: Don Whillans – the 'ard little man in the flat 'at

Activities: Mountaineering

 

Page By: hansw

Created/Edited: Feb 13, 2010 / Jan 30, 2012

Object ID: 596570

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Don Whillans
Clogwyn Du’r Arddu.

The colourful climber and plumber Don Whillans and another legend, Joe Brown, formed a powerful partnership in the fifties. The two of them climbed routes of difficulty many years ahead of their time. They made a number of first ascents at a famous rock formation in Wales called Clogwyn Du’r Arddu, or “Cloggy” as people who do not speak Welsh prefer to say. My first encounter with Don Whillans was in the mid seventies in a Göteborg bookstore. I bought "The Black Cliff" a book which describes all the routs on Cloggy and tells about Don's and Joe's achievements there. Over the years I have met Don many times, since it is hardly possible to open a book about climbing or mountaineering without finding Whillans-stories or stories about Whillans. Some are probably truer than others.

Don had the ability to express himself both wittily and fiercely. The way he often told a story has given rise to many so-called "one-liners." Those who know say that a Whillans-story must be told by Whillans himself. His heavy flat Lancashire accent was unique. So it may be but both Doug Scott and Leo Dickinson are said to be excellent Whillans-imitators. Here we have to put up with a selection of Whillans-stories in writing.

There were a few times when Don Whillans did not get the last word even though they were rare. Dennis Gray tells how they during the fifties often climbed the cliffs near Glen Etive in the Highland of Scotland. On the way there they passed through the interior of a bay, and every time the discussion arose as to whether the water was salty or fresh. Finally Whillans decided to find out. He stepped out on an old pier and began to climb down to the water. Crash! - The wood was old and rotten and Whillans disappeared in the ice cold water. In full attire including heavy mountain boots, he surfaced after a while. "Me flat 'at - where is it?" he shouted. The wind had blown his beloved possession out of reach. "Is the water salty or fresh?" was the inevitable question from dry land.

Whillans came from Manchester with its industries, chimneys and football hooligans. Short as he was, he early learned to defend himself with both fist and tongue. The similarity with Andy Capp was obvious, especially the hat. It is said that when Don told about his many confrontations with people he finished by saying "So I 'it 'im."
Don Whillans
 

Dennis Gray tells in his book “Tight Rope” a three page long hilarious story of a Whillans fight on bus no. 92 to Manchester. Entering the bus young Don and the conductor, the infamous Bully McTeague, had an argument. Bully made a grab at Don making Don lashing out a fist that came out even harder by the help of the accelerating bus. Dramatically Bully shot off the bus into the street. The driver slammed on the brakes when he saw what happened in rear-view mirror. Back on the bus the unhurt Bully and the bus driver came at Don. With the help of several passengers they succeeded to block Don’s arms from behind. Getting one hand free and grabbing and twisting the drivers balls Don came loose again and was able to fight and knock down Bully. It all ended by a familiar voice saying “Hello, hello, what’s going on ‘ere?” The British Bobby could not believe that the small youth could have caused so much havoc, he just told Don to run along. Next evening it knocked on the door at Don’s parents’ home. Don opened and there was the biggest person he ever had seen. After viewing Don he asked “Is your father in, sonny?” “’Err no, he’s out. What do you want him for?” Don replied. “I’ve come to fight him. He attacked me brother on the bus the other night, and he must be a real hard man, for nobody normally gets the better of us McTeague!” This and several other incidents earned Don the nickname “The Villian”.
 
Don Whillans
Don Whillans on the summit.

Don was not entirely clear about the geography south of the English Channel. He is said to have been very disappointed when he could not see Mont Blanc from the ferry boat. When he arrived in Chamonix in 1952 and for the first time saw Mont Blanc he commented "Hey, you could lose Cloggy down one of the cracks in that thing." During the first summers in the Alps he and Joe Brown made several notable ascents. Two examples are the west faces of the Aiguille de Blaitière and the Dru, being the first and third ascent, respectively.
 
Don Whillans
Don on the Central Pillar of Freney.

In the summer of 1961 an Italian and a French team were trying to climb the unclimbed Central Pillar of Freney, the most difficult route on Mont Blanc. They were hit by storm and lightning and it all ended in disaster, four of the seven died. Only Walter Bonatti, Roberto Gallieni and Piere Mazeaud survived. A few weeks later, Don Whillans and Chris Bonington decided to have a go at the Freney Pillar. The team also included Ian Clough (who later died on Annapurna) and the Polish climber Jan Dlugosz. Another strong French team of four including Rene Desmaison and Yves Pollet-Villard, followed close behind. Bonington tells how Whillans led a difficult overhanging crack. The rope ran slowly out and suddenly he heard Whillans voice "I'm coming off, Chris." A tangle of arms and legs came down from 20 meters above. Hanging upside down on the same level as Bonington Whillans exclaimed in dismay "I've lost me 'at!" Again, he had lost his dearest possession. Rene Desmaison, who was a rope length down, writes in his book "Total Alpinism" about the incident "It looked impressive, even frightening, but much more serious were the pound bills floating down from above.“ If one reads Whillans description of what happened he says that it was Bonington who a moment later lost the money. Bonington was entrusted with their common assets for as Whillans puts it "He was the only one with a wallet." It was an expensive first ascent.

Every time Don Whillans tried to climb the Eiger North Face he was unsuccessful. If it was not the weather that stopped him he had to rescue others like he did with Brian Nally in the dramatic 1962 incident. On one occasion Don and Tom Patey came rushing down the Eiger with a storm in their heels. They met two Japanese climbers. "Going up?" wondered Whillans. "Yes, yes, up to the summit, the first Japanese ascent", they answered in one voice. "You may be going up, mate, but a lot 'igher than you think!" said Whillans and added " 'appy little pair, I don’t imagine we'll ever see them again."

Don suffered from a condition that tends to be common among climbers; shortage of money. He often financed his summers in the Alps by selling his motorbike. Once when Don and Bonington decided to climb the Eiger their assets were minimal. "How much have you got?" asked Don when they teamed up in Grindelwald. "Ten quid" Bonington replied. Don, who was not really accustomed to prices in the Swiss Alps, suggested "Let's leave, they charge you even to breathe around ‘ere." Bonington was unfit and wanted them to do some training tours before they tackled the Eiger. For financial reasons Don had a different view "By the time you get to the top of the Eiger you'll be fit - or dead!"
 
Don Whillans
"Aye, we've just climbed the Annapurna."

One of the highlights of Whillans career was climbing Annapurna in 1970. It all started when Don was sent by the expedition leader Bonington to take care of the equipment shipped by sea. As with all expeditions during these years there were all sorts of problems. Don spent several days in Bombay trying to get the equipment off the ship. He received a telex from an impatient Bonington, who offered to fly down and "to pull strings". Don replied promptly "The only useful string you could pull would be a bloody great big one attached to the ship." Bonington’s book "Annapurna South Face" tells the story of the ascent. A new era began when this eight-thousander was tackled “the hard way". At the end, Don and the Scott Dougal Haston were in the top camp. For several days they waited for better weather. Despite difficult conditions, the two managed to reach the summit, and above all to get back to their tent again. In the evening Bonington called from the base camp to ask if they had managed to get outside the tent. "You've made all the bloody communications for now, so you may as well make this one", said Don to Dougal who in turn voiced over a crackling radio "Aye, we've just climbed the Annapurna."

Dougal Haston, who later tragically died in an avalanche accident, has described Don as a practical man lacking romantic veins. Don had borrowed a copy of Tolkien's "Lord of the Rings" from Dougal. After a while he threw it aside and analyzed "Fuckin' fairies."

In the early seventies, Margaret Thatcher was the leader of the opposition party in England. As part of a project to increase publicity she met famous people, like "grass-roots". Dennis Gray, who was secretary general of the British Mountaineering Council, being one of Don’s oldest friends knew of none more "grass-root" than Don Whillans. A meeting between Mrs Thatcher and Don Whillans was arranged. "Who's going to pay me bleedin' train fare?" Don wanted to know before he agreed to anything. Well at the meeting it appeared that the "Iron Lady" was delayed. A pub visit and a number of pints later Whillans waited recumbent on a couch. The only problem was that he had his fly open. The moment Mrs Thatcher came into the room a servant observed the situation, leaned forward and whispered "Mr. Whillans, Mr. Whillans. Your flies are undone." Don immediately delivered perhaps his most famous one-liner "Tha need not have worried, yer know. Dead birds never fall out the bleedin' nest!" Don seemed to get along well with the Iron Lady and regretted that she was not at the pub earlier on the day.

Don Whillans participated in the 1972 European Everest Expedition. The atmosphere was not the best among the various nationalities, no one wanted to carry loads because everyone was saving himself for a possible summit attempt. The German climbers heard on the radio that England had lost a soccer game to Germany. The conversation went "It seems that we have beaten you in your national sport", said a proud German to Don. After a minimal pause Don replied "Aye lad, and we've beaten you at yours, twice."
 
Don Whillans
A signed first edition copy is on sale for 850 dollars. Too bad Don Whillans didn’t live to know.

During the approach march of one expedition an Indian boy asked if the group were mountain climbers. "Aye", said Don to the boy who carefully studied Whillans. "But are you not too fat to be a mountain climber", the boy said. Don turned his head and stared icily at the boy "Perhaps I am too fat, but by the end of this expedition I'll be skinny and they'll be non-existent." Later Whillans rounded a bend and stood face to face with a mysterious Indian in a large turban. As was customary, the Indian held out his hand to receive a contribution. "Hmm, are you on some sort of sponsored walk?" asked Whillans and shook the surprised man's hand.

Expedition life together with Don Whillans was not always easy. After having cooked food for Don for a week on Everest somebody complained "Don, I'm not your mother!" Don asked "You're not one of those types that moan about a bit of cookin', are you?" Heard from Don's tent one night "Hey, wake up! I just realized it's me bloody Fiftieth birthday!" Someone had comments on Don's willingness to carry loads. "He fills his backpack with a bloody sleeping bag. If you ask him to carry anything he says ‘It's not the weight, it's where to put it!’" Later Don expressed his opinion of the expedition leaders’ ability to organize "This lot couldn’t organize a fuck in a Brothel."

On another expedition Greg Child accompanied Don on a trip along a river. Don was looking for the place where a friend had been buried after an accident on Masherbrum in 1957. "We will never find the place after all these years," despaired Greg. '' Aye, a bad year was '57. Herman Buhl was killed, we missed out climbing Masherbrum, my mate died and you were born", Don replied.

Some tongues criticized Don Whillans because he was unsuccessful on many peaks. If he was, it was probably due to the fact that Don considered survival the key to mountaineering; "There are two types of climbers - the smart ones and dead ones." Other comments on the same theme were "I don’t mind fighting my way out of trouble but I'm dammed if I'll fight my way into it" and "The mountains will always be there, the trick is for you to be there as well." Greg Child tells about an incident during the 1971 Everest expedition when the Indian Harsh Bahaguna got altitude sickness in storm winds high on the mountain. Whillans was part of the rescuers that eventually reached the weak climber. The situation was critical and continuing the rescue attempt would have been fatal to all of them. Whillans took the decision "I'm sorry, ‘arsh, old man. You've ‘ad it." Cruel some would say, realistic others would call it.
 
Don Whillans
A more affordable paper back edition.

Don came from a working-class environment and was himself a plumber. In later years, he became good at giving presentations. He often began by stressing his background "I'm Don Whillans, they say I'm working-class but I'd like you to know I've not worked for twelve years."

Dennis Gray tells of when Don was on his way to give a presentation and got stuck in a traffic jam. "What's up, mate, is there a football match on or something?" Don asked a policeman. "No, it is indeed a mountaineer who will give lectures. Not that I understand that someone wants to listen to that kind of stuff", said the policeman. "Yer, they'd be better off sitting in the pub with a pint in their hands", Don replied.

Jim Curran, one of Don's best friends in later days, listened to one of Don's performances. Don started out by showing an old group photo saying "You may wonder why I've included this. (Pause) That's me in the middle of the picture, but, over on the left corner is a girl I'd never spoken to at the time. (A longer pause) That's me wife Audrey. (An even longer pause) Which just goes to show that danger lurks when you least expect it ... "

There seems to be no secret that Don, especially in later years, drank a few pints - probably more than was healthy. The interest in alcohol could be explained by statements as "People ask me why I drink so much. It's because of a morbid fear of dehydration." Give Don Whillans a thought next time you have a pint on the terrace at the bar "Le National" in Chamonix. When Don was not sitting in his favourite place he was most certainly out climbing. One might wonder why Whillans, with so obstinately and sometimes cynical behaviour, has become so famous? Probably it is not only due to his qualities as climber and mountaineer. The question is difficult to answer but we all love heroes – and anti-heroes – don’t we?

Donald Desbrow Whillans was born in 1933 in Salford, a suburb of Manchester. He died of a major heart attack in his sleep in 1985.



Suggested reading:
  • Don Whillans: Portrait of a Mountaineer by Don Whillans and Alick Ormerod, 1971

  • Clogwyn du'r Arddu, The Black Cliff by Jack Soper, Ken Wilson and Peter Crew, 1971

  • I Chose to Climb and Annapurna South Face by Chris Bonington, 1966 and 1971

  • In High Places by Dougal Haston, 1972

  • One Man's Mountain by Tom Patey, 1978

  • Anything Is Possible by Leo Dickinson, 1989

  • Suspended Sentences by Jim Curran, 1991

  • Mixed Emotions by Greg Child, 1993

  • Tight Rope, The Fun of Climbing by Dennis Gray, 1993

  • The Burgess Book of Lies by Adrian and Alan Burgess, 1994

  • The Villain, The Life of Don Whillans by Jim Perrin, 2005




  • Thanks to desainme for comments on the original text.

    Images

    Don WhillansDon Whillans Don Whillans Don Whillans Don Whillans Don Whillans Don Whillans
    Don Whillans

    Comments


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    Viewing: 1-20 of 33 « PREV 1 2 NEXT » 

    gabrielemore details ...

    gabriele

    Hasn't voted

    ... Only Walter Bonatti and Piere Mazeaud survived ...
    Bonatti, Gallieni and Mazeaud

    Don Whillans and Chris Bonington decided to have a go at the Freney Pillar. The team also included Ian Clough (who later died on Annapurna) and the Polish climber Jan Duglosz. Another strong French team, Rene Desmaison and Poulet Villard ...
    you forgot : Pierre Julien & Ignazio Piussi
    Posted Feb 13, 2010 9:24 am

    hanswRe: more details ...

    hansw

    Hasn't voted

    Thank you for your comment. I think the full account of the Italian-French attempt on the Central Pillar of Freney and the disaster following it should be in an SP-article of itself. Are you the one to write it?
    Posted Feb 14, 2010 4:09 am

    gabrieleRe: more details ...

    gabriele

    Hasn't voted

    no, sorry, I heard only something directly from Ignazio Piussi (when we met in Grigna, long long ago)
    Posted Feb 20, 2010 8:30 am

    hanswRe: more details ...

    hansw

    Hasn't voted

    Here is a long article on the 1961 tragedy on the Central Pillar of Freney.
    Posted Feb 20, 2010 11:59 am

    EricChuThanks a lot for this post!

    EricChu

    Voted 10/10

    I have read Chris Bonington's "I chose to climb" with a great deal of enthusiasm, so I am a bit into this matter! I find it great that there are contributions like yours on SP that also shed light on important individual people in alpinism!
    Posted Feb 13, 2010 9:35 am

    hanswRe: Thanks a lot for this post!

    hansw

    Hasn't voted

    Thanks for your positive feedback!
    Posted Feb 14, 2010 4:26 am

    Big BennA very good read

    Big Benn

    Voted 10/10

    Thanks Hans. That was a very intersting article. Read very well indeed.
    Posted Feb 13, 2010 4:47 pm

    hanswRe: A very good read

    hansw

    Hasn't voted

    Thanks a lot and glad you liked it!
    Posted Feb 14, 2010 4:27 am

    hanswRe: I appreciate

    hansw

    Hasn't voted

    Thanks a lot. Yes there are two pictures of the box in Bonington’s book “Annapurna South Face”. I will try to include one in the article later.
    Posted Feb 14, 2010 4:25 am

    RayMondoWhillans Box

    RayMondo

    Voted 10/10

    I believe it is here at last page.
    Whillans Box
    Posted Feb 18, 2010 12:27 pm

    macintoshRe: Whillans Box

    macintosh

    Hasn't voted

    "I believe it is here at last page. Whillans Box" this link does not existe anymore.
    Here are 2 pictures of the box.
    http://www.smhc.co.uk/objects_item.asp?item_id=31776
    Posted Sep 29, 2012 5:22 pm

    chris.muellerWell written

    chris.mueller

    Voted 10/10

    Nice account on the "villain". Unfortunately a often forgotten mountaineer.
    Posted Feb 14, 2010 6:27 am

    hanswRe: Well written

    hansw

    Hasn't voted

    Thanks. I hope this piece will make Whillans known to more SPers.
    Posted Feb 14, 2010 2:14 pm

    hanswRe: Thanks Hans!

    hansw

    Hasn't voted

    Thanks a lot and glad you liked it!
    Posted Feb 14, 2010 4:37 pm

    hanswRe: One of my Heroes...

    hansw

    Hasn't voted

    Thanks for kind words! He is sort of a hero of mine too.
    Posted Feb 14, 2010 4:41 pm

    NoonduelerA colorful legend.

    Noondueler

    Voted 10/10

    We have Death Valley Scotty here in the American west.
    The golden days of climbing in Europe and the Himalayas have Don Whillans.
    Posted Feb 14, 2010 1:52 pm

    hanswRe: A colorful legend.

    hansw

    Hasn't voted

    Yes, one of a kind he was.
    Posted Feb 14, 2010 4:42 pm

    Cy KaicenerA popular legend

    Cy Kaicener

    Hasn't voted

    Thanks for a well written account of a nostalgic era. He had a great sense of humour
    Posted Feb 15, 2010 4:42 am

    hanswRe: A popular legend

    hansw

    Hasn't voted

    Aye, 'e 'ad.

    Thanks!
    Posted Feb 15, 2010 6:38 am

    everestdreamzGOOD

    everestdreamz

    Hasn't voted

    Thanks a lot for this post.......
    Posted Feb 15, 2010 5:09 am

    Viewing: 1-20 of 33 « PREV 1 2 NEXT »